dEbbie-girlx

elo bac le

2007-11-06T12:48:00.000-08:00

hum...tis few dae ar..gt a new bf le..hum...luv him ba...i guess i alrdy pass tat "barrier" of my ex le ba..hum...he treat mi gd la..knew him when workin...he ar...very fit ba i think..(except for tat tyre la)..haha..hum..keep askin him to run he dun wan...still say wad wanna b army officer...haha..train hard la dear..haha...he is currently studying in SP...i see him so stress of studies i also feel worried for him...i really hope he gt any prob can come n talk to mi n let mi share his burden ba...
As for my family ppl..overall they quite like him la..they had seen him once la..gt a gd impression i guess...tis few daes i went out wif him...hum...ok lor...gt a little bit feel like goin out wif my ex la...haha...mayb is bcos both of them are libras...haha...

i in sch now..later continue writing..buaiz

2007-07-31T18:17:00.000-07:00

todae ar..haiz...a sad dae...haiz...from ytd till now din manage to contact him...haiz...very worried...haiz..i really dunno wad to do sia...haiz...i had sent him msges say wanna go seperate ways n also tried to call him but he din even ans...hiaz..is he avoiding mi or some sort?haiz..i really really wan to talk to him...just a call to jiao dai to mi tat he is fine i happy liao really...but he din call...todae i went down to his place in e morning knowing he off todae..hope he can pei wo..but to my disappointment, he is not at hm..his mum also told mi tat he did call her at around 8plus pm ytd..i was like...wad?!!i call him so many tym he din reply,now hw do tis...haiz...den i go sch after tat wif tat foul mood...haiz...din slp well last night..keep calling him...

just as my mum is trying to accept him, he do tis..i was like..oh shit..wad m i suppose to do...haiz..i noe i was wrong to put in tat much luv in him...mayb i did not know him well yet ba..haiz...feeling a bit regret now..haiz...his mum like mi i can see...but wad for sia...we dun have fate also have to seperate wad...haiz...even when i slp i dreamt of him...i dreamt tat he call mi n i was like so touched and happy...but when i wake up, i realise tat its just a dream...haiz..sometimes i ask myself izzit worth it to keep thinkin of him when he on e other side dunno gt think n miss mi or nt..haiz...i keep looking at my hp..hoping he can call mi talk asap la..haiz...i really damn sad now la..haiz...m i really too dependent on him?tat is my character wad...tats y not every1 can tahan mi de..haiz...i should have known my limits sia...haiz..all i wan is to sit down n talk to him calmly n sort things out, be it the outcome is gd or bad..haiz...mayb i should have listen to adam tat he is not flirt ba...or m i thinkin too much?hum...i need ans...pls!!!

i dunno i can tahan for how long la...i goanna go crazy liao...y he wan to do tis to mi at my pms period...he alrdy noe tat i will have stupid decision during tis time de ma...or is he delebrately doin so to shoo mi off??haiz...suan le la...i admit fate ba...let nature take its course bA...haiz...

26th july

2007-07-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

haha....now in sch...miss him till siao now..haha..hum...i had once made a vow tat i wont fall in luv wif any1 else cos luv is hurting...but now i had changed my mind...i really hope that "he" can change my life la...i really dun wan to b hurt again...i m scared...i really wan him to show mi concern and care..."is he the one for mi"' i keep asking myself tis question...haiz...i had thought abt myself...m i really ready for all tis?should i put in as much luv to "him" as like my ex or nt?if nt m i being fair to him?is he flirt?haiz...all tis quest. i keep asking myself la..

we share commom interest(singing)...but he likes to smoke la...i really hope i can help him, like gif him support in quiting smokin la..hiaz...i really dunno la..is he gd lookin...u all might ask mi la..but i think he is average la..onli quite ah beng la.i dun like ah beng ok...i HATE it...haha..hum...also, his fashion sense quite ok la..go out wif him quite shiok la..but e prob lies on mi la...my fashion sense sux...hiaz...no money to buy clothes la..bo bian...lol....another problem i m concern is tat do my parents like him?haiz...i once had wanted to ask him go my house eat de...but i dunno y suddenly dun feel like bringing him la..scared he too ah beng my parents "scared" la...lol...haha...lol...

anything is tat i think he is too tall for mi sia...18+ sia...wth...damn funny if i go out wif him holding hands la...haha..tats y i dun like to hold hand wif him la...lol...haha...any way next tym den blog ba...haha...may my realtionship wif him last 4eva ba...bb

sianz

2007-06-08T22:43:00.000-07:00

todae ar...haha...sch close liao lo..haha...gt 2 weeks break...haha...gt to enjoyt....but after e break of cos gt a lot of test la...sianz...hum...next week gt a lot of bbq on...wif mt pri sch frens and poly frens...hum...gathering ba...

todae actually dun wanna blog wan...bcos of that some1 hu say my blog din update den he dun wanna tag..hu huh...e person noe it..haha...

i really gt nth to say liao sia...lol...all i can say is i luv e freedom now, wif no bf n onli frens n family...no control of anything ..haha....stress free..hehex...feel like singing sia...hu wanna sing jio mi ok...haha....think i stop here la...peeps...take care...

yoz

2007-05-19T10:54:00.000-07:00

hi all...bac to blog again liao...nowadeas very busy wif studies so din really have tym to blog...hum..in case ppl hu haven read my blog...i m here to tell u all tat "i m single"...muhahahaA...haha...out if tat evil clutches of luv...a bit sad la..but wad have to put down have to put down...its not so bad afterall...in tis break, i learnt a lot of things...firstly i think i had simply neglect my frens when i have bf....my sisters especially...actually i noe it a long tym ago den but din xpect tat my realtionship will end eventhough i put high hopes on it n is almost 100% sure tat i will b wif him 4 eva...hum...but any way...we will remain frens la..but i dun really wan2 talk to him on msn la..cos he now alredy have a gf...they 2 months liao...congrats...tough i dun really like tat gal la..but e most impt thing is he like can liao...i dun like tat gal bcos she actually gt attitude problem la..its not onli i hu said tat...a lot ppl also said tat...hum...dunno la..heck care him liao...he do whathever he wan ba..i have no right to interfere any way...hum...

i gt tis fren tat i noe through a fren of mine..hum..can consider my semi bf la..hum...gt a bit of attitude problem also..but any way...he is good la..at least better than some1 la..hum..i wif him 2gather like 1 month liao...seen all his "true colours" liao..so now a bit cold to him la..hum...he bought mi a ring...hum...touching huh...but to mi, it actually mean nth cos i always believe action speak louder than words...added to tat...i dun really wan to bind myself in bgr again so soon la...like wad my ex say..."freedom"...haha..lol...wif him i find tat i dun really have my own personal tym wi my frens also lor...but any way..even if i really like go steady wif him..i wont out my whole heart to it la..for now i still think men/boi's mind is very complicated la...hum...also i dun really wan to like drop a single tears for those men liao la..

my family like my ex better ba i think..but i can c tat my mum...actually like tis recent one than my ex la..she says tat my ex is damn childish la(which i can really oicture it out in my mind)..haha...tis guy, whose name is mich lee, is quite good to her la...haha...dun think yy k...lol...haha....he is 22 yrs old n finish ns liao...mayb tats 1 pt y my mum likes him...mature i guess...haha..is he mature?sometyms i really wonder sia...to mi he is also quite childish la..haha...

made a lot of frens in nyp...can say some is slackers la..haha...mi is 1 of them...but i nt too bad to e extend tat all lectures din go la...lol...haha...busy wif my ica project la..hum...and also e up coming bio test..haha...n also preparation of hsin's bdae...hum...shhh....not goanna say much abt tat....haha...i also met alot of firmilar faces in sch la...haha...like cheng ji, grace, daren,ker jun n more...haha...did talk to them la..n also especially my sisters la...lol...haha...

todae,opps..or i can say ytd nite, went to jie bin bdae chalet...haha...was quite borin la..but anyway, gt to meet up wif some "long lost" frens la...haha..den we chatted a while...haha...c how r they all doin la..haha...lol...surprisingly saw guang yi...haha...lol...din change much la he...haha...lol...haha..den after tat abt 10plus we left e place liao...hum...

any way a note to my dear fren alvin
"i gt blog liao hoR..haha...must tag if gt read k...if nt i hantam u...haha...take care n smile awayS..."

8th april

2007-04-08T09:03:00.001-07:00

todae ar...woke up at around 11am...ya..actually wanna go to peicai alumni..but thinkin of tat i was like so wad if i go..i also dunno anything...nt xtra meh...ya...so in e end jio johnson out..den he say he at fren house play mj n ask mi to join...so i was like anything lor...den went to his house play till around 6plus...den 1 of his fren's sis cooked spegetit...den i eat a bit lor...dne after tat we play basketball....hum...during e game i was lke fell down la..den my knee injured la..pain la..but i still carry on playing la...hum..den play till around 10 plus...den go home liao lo...

overall todae is quite fun xcept for e fellin down part la...so embarassse sia..hum...now online tokin to some frens n also eating cup noodles at e same tym...eat le...have to straight away slp...tml still need t go sentosa den lor...

blog till here ba...goanna hurry up finish my food n slp liao...tata

sianxed

2007-04-05T06:14:00.001-07:00

todae ar..went kbocx sing wif my frens(germain, des, sofina n ns-hu went away so fast)...ya..sing frm 2 to 8..haha..now no voice liao...very sianz now...feeli like tokin to some1 online but no 1 leh...sianz...den rmbed kahei injured his neck so i ask him take care lo...den called alvin but he is busy shopping wif his gay fren hj..hum...den dun wanna disturb him lo...den put down e phone..den nw mapling lo...n also damn hungry but onli can eat after my mum come bac frm work...sianz...argh!!!!hungry..haha...

tml had agreed to yue sky out...his off dae..he ask mi out 1...din really agree la..i was like quite sianz la..go out...n added to tat 6th is mi n kahei anniversary...haiz...thinkin of it i goanna cry liao...haiz...sundae is meeting him n tat erhem...actually i also dunno wad to say when i c them la...haiz...i really hope some1 can bac in up in case e erhem do sth funny...haiz...thinkin of e comin sundae i wad a bit sad la...haiz..but i tell myself tat e relationship have to come to an end means have to come to an end....haiz...i noe i will feel very sad tat dae la..hope my frens can cheer mi up ba...n i also hope i wont offend any1...haiz...is so den i say i m sry here 1st..haiz...

sch is like goanna reoopen soon..16th april according to my frens la...frm now is like 11 daes la...hum...must think of orientation 1st la..which is on e 13th april...haha...hopefully gt some shuai ge ba...haha...eeeeee....so rou ma..haha...

bac to maple ...free le den blog ba..bye my readers!!!!maukz

happy april fool

2007-03-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

HahA..Happy april foolS my frenZ...hahaha...actually dunno its april fool todae la..alvin told mi wan..haha..hum..slept at around 3plus 4am tis morining...goanna entertain my fren...wa lao...did alot of "throat exercise"...wa..morining wake up soar throat liao...die...hum...gt tok to ka hei online at around 3..he just came bac frm bbq....actually crap abt nth la..just tok lo...normal la..hum...very sianz...

ytd went out wif hsin n wen go vivo shopping...i thought it will b a empty handed shopping again but nv did i expect to buy a shirt..hum...lol...b4 shopping we went to some place which i forgt e name eat pasta..haha..cool huh..but ex la..haha...den we shop n shop..den saw "some" models modeling at lv runway..den stood awile to watch...wa lao..nv expected tat e whole event last abt 30mins onli...lol..n btw forgt to tell u guys there is onli 4 models...lol...den actually wanna buy slipper wan..but in e end din c anything i like...hum...den abt 4pm we went hm liao lo...actually wanna meet daren eat dinner but he nt free...as for e others..they confirm nt free..so i dun bother to ask...(eg hj)...haha..hum..den in e end ate dinner myself lo...i hate it man but bo bian la..no 1 pei wo...den after tat went hm online...saw alvin...den we both damn bo liao den we play bejewel lo...play n play..dan sianz la...but at least gt sth to do..haha...at 1st i play i gt my highest record is 19k plus points..wa lao...i thought alvin cannot win mi lor...but wa lao..he play n play n gt a 21k record...i was like wtf...no wonder i buy 4d nv strike...haha...lalala..so frm then we r e ones entertaining each other lo till e other "yixi gang" members online..haha...lol...after alvin online is daren online..damn bo liao la..i ask him call my hp tok since so bo liao..u noe wad he say? "i need to maintian a image"...lol...i was like laugh till my jaw drop sia...lol...as for talkin to hj..he is aiya as usual big shot la...act cool onli...lol..hahadun care him la..so man fan wan..den for yixi..he was like wa lao..drawing damn pro la...haha...very funny...haha...i laugh till i cannot slp sia..haha...lol...den after tat i polluted some1's ear....(he noe hu is he la..lol)...den go slp liao..haha...

blog next tym..till den c ya guys.....

sianz dae

2007-03-30T10:50:00.001-07:00

todae...opps i should say ytd(now is 1.41am liao) went out wif darren,yixi's fren...hum...wa lao...actually yixi n alvin also on one lor..last min cannot....ps sia...den ok lor..at least derren pei wo...hum..we went to bugis and then "ps" ok...(compromise u hor derren)...hum...wanna watch a movie but dun have good seats..its like i won't pay 9.50 bucks for "bad" seat la..hum...den we play at ps arcade...wa lao..tat damn machine cheat out money la.."spot e difference" so hard...wa lao...den at last play a game tat i consider damn lame...but play 4 fun la..wa lao..din expect can go in high score la...still 1st sia...wtf...haha...lol...haha...i was like damn shocked la..haha...den after tat go home liao lo...also dunno wad to do also...sianz la..den tym for maple...muahahaha..but jj haven online...he confirm is out wif tat malay gal tat he wanna jio..wa lao...c chio bu 4 gt fren liao...sad...any way...i now waiting to heal my character den go slp liao...my bro say wad i stingy...mana pot also wanna save....haha...i dun care him...haha..lol...slp liao...bb

ps:(note to derren)hey...5-0 huh..hum..exciting huh...so lao ya...lalalala..next tym come do it again la...haha....readers tis is nth cencored hor...lol...go derren blog la...he write till so R21...haha...

sian dae i can't

2007-03-29T01:21:00.001-07:00

todae is a damn sianz dae...nv go out..felling very sick...gt flue n soar throat n fever...very xin ku...haiz...tis is e worst tym where when i sick bf din care for mi cos i dun have 1 now...haiz...actually made an agreement to go out wif "yixi gang" one but..haiz...feeling very sry sia...i organise 1 yet i can't go..its like wtf lor...so not oN...hiaz...i really hope my frens will understand...haiz...wanted to yue they all at around 4plus 5 for dinner one..yixi say hj goin la..but hj say nt goin..its like wtf la...go den go la...dun go den dun go la..so long winded for wad...haiz...very complicated la...so i think i decided nt to meet they after all lo...haiz...ch t

they watching tmnt sia...sian...c e trailer is like so childish la...haha...blog till here ba...

haiz

2007-03-24T08:58:00.001-07:00

these few daes have been quite troubled wif bgr problem...haiz...m i really fated to not gt luved by him?haiz...i had quarreled wif tat bitch..haiz..m i really very foolish?haiz...now tat i have swear tat i m nt goin to step into his life again...i believe i can do it de..!!!haiz...seeing my frens talkin to their so happily i was like damn jealous...haiz..its like y can they b so happy n mi leh???haiz....i did tried to call him but he sonuds so irritated each n every tym i call him..its like y can he entertian tat bitch n listen to her sorrow or wadsoever so patiencely n mi leh?always talked haven even 5 sentences den he keep askin mi to put down e phone...???y???he really can b tat ruthless to mi den i guess i had to give up on him ba...mayb u should really gif my blessings to him n her ba..haiz

i just dunno y every1 thinks tat bitch is a bad company(even his parents) but yet he keep getting close to her..wad is these man..haiz!!!he even can gif up our relationship bcos of her..wad is tis man!!!he chio so wad??onli noe hw to snatch ppl's bf...haiz..bcos of her i dun trust him anymore...haiz...

right nw all i think is to go poly...i dun believe i can't find some1 10000000x better than him tat fucker...i alredy told him..dun regret losing mi becos of tat bitch..i msg him...he din reply..so i guess he accepts it le ba...tats fine wif mi...i dun believe tat i can't live without him...i m nt goanna reply him any msg or even calls frm him..haiz!!!so fan sia..!!!

todae went to my aunty's house...quarrelled wif my mum regarding money issue...haiz...its like she keep saying tat i got earn money den have to spend my own money...i was like..ok...i spend my own money, y keep restricting mi do things??while i was penniless workin..did she gif mi a single cent to est anot???haiz...i go hm late..y can't she ttrust mi in whatever i do???i really really wan her to noe tat i noe my limits..i m 18 now...dun over control mi CAN!!!haiz...i cried feeling very heartbroken tat she can't put mi in her shoes...she is my mum u noe...haiz..at tat tym i really wan a shoulder to lend on to cry..but no 1 is there...haiz...so e onli thing i can do is swollow my sorrow down my throat lo...haiz

these few daes i had made alot of new frens..not bad la...one is them i call it e "yixi" gang which consist of daren, alvin,hanjie,frencis n of cos yixi himself(did i miss out anyone?)...they r really kind ppl la...lol...we went movie, pool,shoppin n many more...fun!!!at least can let mi 4 gt "him" for a wile...hum...i also noe any fren frm my dear fren "NS"...haha..i call him xiao qiang...like cockroach huh...lol...no la...he very caring de worx...pei mi when i lonely...but always ps mi bcos of work....sad la but nvm lo...he is a great composer...wrote a lot of song...too bad he is in NP la...i nyp cannot c him...haha...lol...nvm la..i m sure we will have tym to meet also when sch reopen de...haha...lol...he's a weirdo who likes to call ppl at aronund 5plus in e morning..haha..cool huh...unique...lol...a good fren indeed...wonder all these frens i mention hw they feel abt mi sia...tag la..toot...lol

think i end here liao...free le den blog ba...guys..rmb to tag..take care!!!

haiz

2007-03-07T01:08:00.001-08:00

todae feel very sianz..haiz...luv life again...i had met tis guy hu i think he is my mr right...tats y chose to luv him...e other purpose i stead wif him is to 4 gt abt my ex.sebestian...haiz..sebestian has been treating mi well tis daes..i really appricieate wad he had done...but just tat i really canot accept him goin bac at e end of e yr..haiz...yes i luv him but i dun myself to gt hurt either...haiz...i noe tis guy guo yuan frm my fren..he is shuai caring..i had a crush on him i guess..stead wif him starting frm e day b4...haiz..i dunno y i becom very dependent of him...he ytd din msg mi..so i waited e whole night,din slp..but he msg mi...i was v angry..i dunno y...haiz..den so call scolded him...guess wad he told mi...he said wadeva he do i m nt happy..n he is very tired of all tis..wan mi to consider our relationship...i was like WAD??!!hw can he say tat...

todae actually wana to go woodland to eat stingrey wif jj de...but he say e stall din open...at 1st i was quite happy..cos i can gt tis chance to ask guo yuan out...so i msged him...yes he did reply..say can go...but after i bathed finished he say cannot liao...i was like wad e....haiz...i talk to his fren, n he said i was too agreesive liao..haiz...i really can't control wad..i wan him to hong wo...hiaz..but he just can't do tat as my bf..haiz...i told his fren tat mayb mi n him should think throughly abt our relatioship la...haiz..its not tat i dun trust him u noe..its tat we seem nt fated to meet la...haiz...i noe he busy...tats i choose to find him,nt him find mi..haiz

i dun wads wrong wif mi sia...haiz...sebestian is tryin his best to patch but i dun accept but guo yuan leh?i like him yet he cannot gif mi e feeling i wan..haiz...help MI!!!!!

dots

2007-01-26T22:45:00.000-08:00

todae everything went smoothly when 1 spoiler walk pass my counter...haiz..though we break liao but also dun need to show off ur gf in front of mi ok...if u r tryin to shoe mi off ur life den just tell mi so..dun need a gal to help u ok flirt!!!at tat moment i really go forward to slap him tightly but i din..i gif tat gal face ok...

tat gal onli 14 yrs old tis yr...haha...siao mei mei also dun wan to pao...u think wad...f off la...u wan to flirt go some where else la...i can tell u la some of ur frens also dun like ur way of actions la sucker...i dun wanna name hu la..u go flirt la...i dn liao..being ur fren??i think suan le la playboi...

when i saw them walk pass mi i was like wad e fuck...i really shout at e sales floor lor...some of my colleage also saw him walk pass proudly..some even say wad hao lian..at tat tym i really can't control myself den like quickly go store rm shout lor...haiz...my feelin at tat tym is sad disappointed n angry...haiz...anyway i hope my frenz dun tok abt tis guy in my life anymore cos mi n him no link ok..tats it...haiz

yipee

2007-01-16T12:22:00.000-08:00

yeah!!!todae off dae...slack at home...haha...nth to do den blog lo...gt happy n sad things la...happy is dun need to work, sad is quarrelled wif him AGAIN ytd nite...haiz...wth...i dunno wads wrong wif mi n him la....haiz...he noes tat i m sensitive to him talkin to gals yet he still do tat...wad he want??!!!haiz...e last msg frm him is " i m very disappointed wif u"...wad he mean??!!!haiz....haiz...i already told him liao...happy den b together..sad den break la...i mean its for e best of both worlds right..i dunno wad to do now...added to tat i gt my period la...so emotions tend to b a bit weird...n i will any how scold ppl one la..haiz...i had so call warn him la..but he still try to provoke mi i also gt nht to say right....haiz...he say he want to talk to gals den i say fine den go la...frm his tone he was like very eager to talk to them la as if nv talk will die like tat...haiz...he say i will scold him if he talk to them...i was like wth r u talkin la..u have e freedom to do wadeva u like la...since we r frens liao den do wadeva u like n i have no reasons to b angry wif u la...wth..haiz...i really dunno wad to say la...my realtionship is once again in a mess...pls help mi!!!haiz...

haiz

2006-11-27T23:32:00.000-08:00

just ended work....haiz..."he" send mi home...haiz...had a tiff wif him lo..sad la..declared an official breakup wif him...i guess he will b more xon fu tat way ba...haiz..its like nowadeas i can't help myself doubtin his every moves lor..i dun wan to de but just can't help lor..haiz...for eg a gal msg her i was like haiz..i noe i might b too sensitive la..but hello 10 plus liao la..still msg a guy n ask him slp already or nt..as if he is ur bf or wad..haiz..tats wad i think la..so tis is y i wan a breakup...on tis way i won't b sensitive anymore cos i dun have e right to do so..haiz...i wan him to b xin fu...nt stuck in my clutches n have no freedom...i wan him to b happy in wadeva he do...not say i dun like den he dun do...its like pointless lor...haiz...i gt nth to say liao...wad is ended has ended...

ps: frens i might b very busy workin...if u all wanna go out can also jio mi la...i will TRY to make it..ty

haiz

2006-11-16T10:39:00.000-08:00

todae as usual..woke up in e mornin by my mum la..hum...its ok la..e 1st thing she ask is i quarrel wif "him" izzit...i said ya..she asked mi y...i told her everything..she said tat hong kong ppl are like tat...they always think they r right n won't change....she also say tat if i can accept him den carry on...if nt den better nt la...haiz...although after i heard wad she said n wanted to cry, instead i swallow down my sorrow lor...haiz...dun wan her to worry too much 4 mi...but i appriciate la...haiz...thinkin of ytd i was like still a bit moody la...when i hear e word " freedom" i was like goanna burst out cryin la..haiz...i dunno y la..haiz

any way todae i goin to taka for a job interview..hum..sell shoe one...mei ting intro wan..hope it will turn out fine ba...sianz...den later mayb go find derek they all to study lor...haiz...i really nt sure whether i should continue ignorin him or wad la..i din regret la..but just lost of wad to do...haiz...pls help mi..!!!

haiz

2006-11-15T12:31:00.000-08:00

todae feels very sad n moody...haiz...dropped tears in front of my frens...haiz...derek helped mi buy beer to drink..haiz...hope i din offend any ppl...haiz...relationship problem again..haiz..i just accept "his" attitude la...whenever i called him he wad like first sentence is " wad u want"shout at mi la...haiz...its like all e mood of talkin is gone la...haiz...i cried n cried ytd...but lucky my frens console mi...haiz....i now drinkin is bad but i just can't help it...haiz..actually wanted to have dinner wif "him" one but e 1st sentence he said which is tat sentence ^^ alrdy ruin all e mood...haiz...i turned him down eventually...haiz...i tried to call mi but i rejected his call...i dun wan2 gt hurt anymore...i wan peace...haiz...nw i guess leaving him alone is e best ba..he had 4 gotten tat i still have my exmas la..if he is stress den i m more stress ok..haiz.right now i just some1 to lend mi a shoulder to let mi cry out loud la...i want to shout out all my sorrows la...haiz...frens...wad should i do??!!!

todae

2006-11-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

todae quite happy but e sky is not happy, keep raining...anyway todae quite happy la..went out wif hsin n ting...shoppin lor..hum...quite fun la...but went hm at 5 plus lor..saw evelyn n her bf n some classmates on e way there n bac home...lol...

manage to stop thinkin of him todae...he asked mi out 4 dinner but i rejected him...i feel quite bad at 1st thinkin i shouldn't ps him...but when i started thinkin of wad he said e pass few daes..it is actually worth it la...i really dunno leh...hsin n ting todae meet mi to tok lor..they quite "caring" for mi la...they noe i nt really happy cos they r mu blog "fans" ma..thankz...any way bac to him...some words tat he said keep appearin in my mind lor..eg(i dun like goin out wif u alone cos its boring) n ( i really regretted noein u frm e beginning)...its like all these sentence tat i think woun"t come out frm his mouth to mi he actually said to mi la...now tat he complain tat i din giv him freedom in doin his things den i fufil his wish la...i really eck care him liao..haiz..frm now on even if he ask mi out or sth if not more than 3 person go out den i won't go out wif him...tats final...haiz...i really dunno y my relationship ended up like tis la...haiz...

hope he will completel being erased frm my memory ba...haiz..n frens n jie mei out there thankz 4 ur support when i needed 1...tc k...

haiz

2006-11-09T21:37:00.000-08:00

tml is my 2nd last paper iao...maths paper 2...haiz...i dunno should i b happy or wad lor...haiz..

quarreled wif dear ytd nite...haiz...i dunno y...when he told mi tat he goanna ton wif his frens tml...i was like very angry lor...its like i really wan him to pei mi in e weekend to relax 4 a while lor...but haiz...frens again!!!!i really dunno y i very pissed off lor....haiz...its like everything is abt frens frens n frens lor...he told mi ytd tat actually goinin out wif mi alone everytime is xtremely borin lor...haiz...when i heard tat i was like xtremely disappointed la...haiz...now he make mi scared of goin out wif him la...i can say tat i m very eager to go out wif him alone in e past but when he said tat he like to go out in group i was like...hiaz..i m really very very sad lor...haiz...i dunno y he is like acting tat way la...haiz...oh ya...he say he tonin wif his frens at hotel...i was like WAD?!!!so ex...haiz....all tis prove wad?!!!he is more willing to spent his bloody money on frens than on mi....i din xpect him to like eveytime go out wif mi have to go restaurant eat or wad la...i help him save money...hopin when he dun have money can spent some of his savings la...but i help him save he on e other other go any how spent...i was like thinkin was e point of helpin him to save money when all he do is being unappriciatetive n spent all those unnecessay on unnecessary things..haiz...'

i admit tat he is startin to treat mi better tis week but sometimes he also gt very "nasty"...tat tym i keep tellin myself tat i had i have misjudged him....but ytd he really show his true colours liao....i really hate him now....i realy wan to punch him on e face!!!!haiz....

frens pls...tell mi wad i should do...???haiz...

argh

2006-10-22T20:55:00.000-07:00

haiz...todae actually plan to go out wif him de..in e end he say he is eatin lunch wif his family...haiz...wonder he bought e new phone le mar...haiz...

ytd cried again when talkin to him on e phone at nite...haiz...as usual..he ask mi to try to 4 gt abt him....i m an emotional person i noe...haiz...i cried loudly...haiz...i dun wan to de...i noe he hates it..haiz...i really dun noe y he can just 4gt abt tis relationship as tough i onli met him 4 1 dae or so..he really dun treasure tis relationship at all???haiz....all i can say is tos 2 yr i really did luv him alot...i trusted him;to cheer mi up when i m sad; to lend mi a shoulder when i cry; to tok to mi on e phone when i m bored;...hiaz...he told mi tat he tis yr din go bac HK is mostly becos of CM....he said it it is used to b my presence n he nt goin is ALL for my sake...haiz...when i heard tat i cried...but controllin,hopin he won't scold mi 4 cryin again...haiz...nowadaes also no appetitte to eat...haiz...really dunno wad to do....now its like i m doubting a lot of things he do lo...i really dun wan...i really wan to trust him...but i also him he can gif mi trust n let mi dun doubt him...haiz...i really dun wanna think too much la...serious...like wad he say think more positively...haiz....

now i dunno y talkin to him is like theres a gap between us lo..haiz...sort of like strangers lo..haiz...i dun dare to tell him how i feel cos i scared he will gt angry at mi...haiz...i nw need to hide my feelings frm him lo...haiz...i really dunno wad to do lo...haiz...i wan to tok to him but on e other habd i also dun wan myself to gt hurt when he scold mi...i just wan2 b like last tym can tell him my problems n he can tell mi his but hiaz...i really dunno wad happen lo...so many things so little tym...haiz...i dun wan to stress him out...but he is like keep playin n causin our "private" tym bcom lesser n lesser...haiz...is talkin to him in private n in full attention tat difficult??haiz...i really dunno wad to do lo...haiz...sad..!!

right now i have to tell myself to study n study...haiz...jia you ba..!!!gamatei!!!

hai yo

2006-10-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

todae...haiz...when to my aunt house again to play mj...1st tym win...wanna share my joy wif "him" but called him he like dun wanna talk to mi liao..haiz..at last i manage to call him n tok on phone....haiz...he asked mi to b frenz wif him...haiz...when i heard tat tears dropped down my cheeks...i really dun wan to de..i really can't help it....i noe he hate ppl cry but tis is simply too big liao...haiz

haaiz

2006-10-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

todae ah...haiz...also nth to do lor..went to visit my grandma and aunt...haiz...tried nt to think abt him too much but haiz...msg him also he also like haiz...really no comments...haiz...played majong wif my anut den lose lo..haiz...nt in e mood lo...dunno y...nowadeas like "he " is avoiding mi lo...haiz...even i tried to meet him or at least call him, he will like either say he playin or tired wanna slp..haiz...i really tried very hard to 4 gt him le..but i dun think i can ...hiaz...he can 4 gt mi i noe...tats y i feel very sad abt tis...he is like torturin mi la..haiz...he is more happy wif his frens than mi...mayb i might b nt happy abt it..but still i willlingly gif up some of my tym so tat he can at least have tym wif his frens...i really giv him a lot of freedom le...i trusted him tat if he is wif his frens he will still like gt rmb he still have a lao por "mi"...haiz...i really dun wanna think so negatively de...i m really sry if i had done tat...but he is like giving mi e feelin tat i m just another ordinary person in his life, nt any impt person in his life,have den have, dun have den dun have like tat...hiaz...

i duuno y nw i m listenin to e song " i still believe" but cao ge n vivian..was like starting to put myself in e song...had those very sour feelin...haiz...e song ask mi nt to gif up...haiz....i really dun noe..haiz...i really wan to lend a shoulder to cry on n hopefully is his but its sound impossible liao...haiz...i really wanna cry out loud...LOUD!!!even nw i dun have e appetite to eat...my dad scolded mi...haiz....its nt tat i dun wanna eat..is i keep thinkin how he treatin me nowadeas..haiz..tis relationship is seriously damn shakey la...haiz...i goanna sink into e deep sea liao...hope some1 can help mi out n up...haiz...i really gt nth to say liao...HELP!!!

ps: thankz dickson..u had helped mi alot...thankz...need more advice frm u n my frens more..pls tell mi wad to do...help mi pls...tq

hiaz

2006-10-19T14:50:00.000-07:00

just finished my practical...haiz...called "him" immediately...hopin he will at least be concern abt me n ask hw izzit..but he din...haiz...all he say is he is busy playin GAMES...haiz..i really hate to hear tat word la..haiz...

ytd went out wif him..haiz...a borin dae..i expected it will b a happy dae..but...haiz...he keep playin n playin...irregerdless of goin arcadeto play or playin his psp...haiz...i tok to him he is like heck care la...tat attitude...haiz...nowadeas he really had changed liao...he is like more of wantin me n waitin 4 mi to break wif him like tat la...he will b more happy den...haiz...now tokin to him even on e phone is like damn hard to comunicated la...nt tat i shout at him or wad...even if i tok calmly wif him he will like sort of find excuses like i m very tired or e worst thing is i playin psp or ps2 la..den he will like shout at me n say i veri irritating la...haiz...now he is like dun tok to mi or dun even c mi is e best la...i try to make him happy when i m out wif him but all he do is play n play la..nw even gals msg him la..haiz..goin out i dun mind playin in e arcade or wad la...dun attitude to mi can liao...but its like so wad he show attitude to mi..i also have to diam diam n swallow my sorrow la...haiz...he nw really dun noe mi liao...nw every word he say is like very harsh la..i ask him nicely to change n guess wad he say..."tis is mi...dun accept dun tok la!!!i dun wana change liao...." n even if i ask 4 can change 4 my sake or nt as a lao por..he will den say " so wad if lao por or nt...i dun gif it a damn to u la...i any1 also scold i suang la..." hiaz...i hinted him ytd when we tok on e phone tat if all tis is carryin on tis relationship is like can carry on liao la...i think he gt e point but so wad...he say break den break la...its like he is more willin to break rather than both of us have a good tok n solve our problem la...haiz...really disappointing la...so ytd he said he is very tired wana slp...but in e end go play ps2 wif CM..wad is tis like...u tired u slp ok...u nt tired i waited 4 u to plan finish ur outing wif ur fren then tok to u la...i waited till near 11 pm la..haiz...den mayb ya u tired den i being e considerate 1 ask u to slp n in e end he is lke i wan2 play ps2 n psp....tokin to mi comes 4th or no place la..hiaz...so i asked him to change but he is like..haiz...heck care la...haiz...

even todae i msg him or call him..he is playin la...i bother to call him la...he keep sayin tat i very fan...hiaz...i really dun noe when all tis nonsences can stop la....haiz..i really wan e old ka hei bac..pls...frens help mi can...now everything he do is like indirectly tellin mi " none of ur business la" tat tone la...wad should i do???haiz...i really feel very stress up...studies n relatioship...help me!!!! n to tell NG KA HEI ur life is nt as miserable as my life so change ur nick la...!!!haiz...

sianz

2006-10-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

todae everything thing went smoothly wif no quarreling for e 1st half of e dae...as 4 second dae..bad things started to happen...haiz...i quarreled wif him over money....haiz...his mum gave him 100 bucks to spent on his borthdae wif me n his frens..but he like din even spent a single cent on me la..haiz....den i asked him wad he intent to do on tat 10bucks...1st he say he goanna keep....it makes me not so mad...after tat he say he will spent all on his frens during e holidaes...went i heard tat i was like, " wad on erath did u say! if i m ur lao por y u rather spent on outsiders den on mi..haiz...u still treat me as ur close 1 or nt!!!!even u dun need to go to sch after ur n'level but u still gt in come like 5 per dae la..for me leh...i no income plus i willingly bought ur bdae gift wif no consideration of money la...y?its becos i treat him as my close 1 n wad is urs is mine la...haiz..." in anger i took out e ring n a dollar den put in front of him n say tat we should break..n den walk away without finishing my food..n as 4 e 10 dollars i gif him 4 payin 4 e meal at 1st...i dun wanna owe him anything.....haiz..now as i was typin i m still angry la..haiz...
i did gave him chance like keep askin him he wanna change anot cos i believe hong kong ppl r more selfish towards money n i think he is 1 of a kind of those ppl...but instead he said," tis is me..." n wad is e indirect meaning?he is tryin to tell me to accept him...i tried to but thinkin of e future i rather nt accept him in tis kind of attitude...so i walk off wif tears welled up in my eyes tryin nt to cry in public...hiaz...
after tat i cooled down a little den msg him..n asked him to come out to meet n have a drink...he agreed at 1st but said tat he can't make it later...hiaz...is he avoidin me?haiz...i dunno whether i should trust him or nt..he had already hurt me too much todae...i really can't take it liao..wif my exam stress plus his stress to mi..i really CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!haiz...
frens out there pls help me..should i continue to bulit bac tis relationship or gif up??hiaz..i really can't take it but breakin will also distract my attention...wad should i do???hiaz...

sianz

2006-10-01T19:37:00.000-07:00

todae ah...can say is happy n sad la..haiz...went to ting's house for steamboat...though its is tiring but it is fun plus full...any way tis dae is enjoyable ba..

sad thing is abt ytd..haiz..." he" went to find his ganma to take his things den go supper...hiaz...i quite angry la...its nt tat i dun like him go...its like his n is comin liao...i believe he need to study...n despite him being busy for e 1st 3quater of e dae tuitioning, he went out at nite...nt tired meh...i thought of giving him e time to rest after e dae's hardwork by letein him slp early, he not onli dun appriciate it but on e other hand go out to meet his ganmna n have supper...hiaz...it made me worry for him la..its like i spare a thought for him y can't he spare a though 4 me....haiz....i waited for him for e whole nite for him to reach home to msg me but he didn't...tis made me more mad..mad until i dun wan to tok to him...haiz...but in e end i still tok to him la...hopin i can like sua tis thing...but haiz to my disappointment, he keep sayin he is busy...haiz..i really gt nth to say la..haiz....i really dun wan to b hot la...i m really sry if i had...but pls spare a thought 4 me can...hiaz...i nt really is doubting whether tis realtionship should carry on or nt...hiaz...i really wan to find out e ans...hiaz...

+worried + confuse + stress + troubled + worried + confuse + stress + troubled +

haiz

2006-09-21T17:20:00.000-07:00

todae is kind of sianz la...noe tat my frens is goin out in saturdae...steamboat...broke liao sia...haiz..now dear slping...all i can do is to wait 4 him wake up...haiz..sianz...

= broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke+broke =

sian22222

2006-09-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

to is also very sianz...hiaz...really nth to do...sundae goin out to eat steamboat wif frens n goanna find out where is e romantic place there so mayb i can bring dear there..mayb onli la..hum...thinkin of his comin birthdae i was happy n sad...sad is becos tis means o is comin liao...happy is goanna c him after 2 week of nt c ing him...haiz..i really dunno lor..

haiz..as my o's is approaching i was like nt a nite of good dream lor..haiz...very worried...haiz..i really dunno y..haiz...now i c dear chiong 4 his n i was like..wa lao..no more slackin liao la...start doin..haiz...

dear once msg me say tat he wanna celebrate his birthdae with his dearest lao por me...i was like suddenly shick n suddenly feel remoseful tat his mum is not goanna celebrate her birthdae wif him tis year..n its like all my fault la...haiz..i shouldn't b so selfish to ask him nt to go bac la...hai..i really dunno...i wan him to pei me throught christmas but at e same tym his family need him too...haiz...i duno la..really confuse...

later den blog again ba

sianz

2006-09-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

every tuesdae is sianz to me la..haiz...now tat dear is busy i gt nth do...might as well study ba..haiz...thinking of nt goin to c him for 2 weeks i was like sianz la..haiz..bo bian..his n comin..haiz...sianz...

noe tat alot of my maths dunno or mayb 4 gt how to do liao..but dunno ask hu leh..sianz...my science also..its like memorise lor..den eng is e worst...e paper 1 format 4 gt liao...haiz...really is like damn sianz la...haiz...i dunno when i can go out buy dear's present...1st no money secondly lazy...haiz..thirdly i scared wad i buy her dun like...ytd i told him to ask some other gals fren to come out to celebrate wif him..he was like...ok lor ok lor...i dunno la..its like i dunno y gals he noe nowadades keep breakin wif their bf den got any worries or wad go find dear to tok..its like...haiz..i dunno la...haiz.i got nth to say liao...haiz...

sianzZzzZ

2006-09-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

todae went out wif dear to suntec n bugis..quite happy la...mayb is bcos i learnt to comtrol my temper....actually wanted ti buy dears's birthday present when he went to e toilet de...but...haiz..din do so..sad...haiz... also havin stomach ache ouch....dear also have HLT n ulcer..i kind of worried abt him...n still ask him eat mac wif me..really damn sry...

hear tat he need to chiong 4 his comin n'lvs..hum..can't meet him till his birthdae which is on e 5th of oct...dunno wad to gt 4 his present..haiz..headache...wad he likes is kind of ex...haiz..i really wan to buy him sth he likes...just nw he told me alan his roommate's gf bought him a 200bucks watch..when i heard ta i was like speechless...haiz...i m also troubled of where to celebrate wif him..haiz...i really dunno...i guess i have to spend alot in tis dae ba..haiz..broke liao...

nowadeas i think i feel bac e "old" heiz is bac le...i dunno should i b happy so early or nt..haiz...troubled n troubled..gtg slp le..tata

rain=sianz

2006-09-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

todae is a rainy dae...sian...usually rainy dae equals can't go out...haiz...oh well...just accept it ba...

i was woken up by a nite mare todae..its abt heiz n grace..grace told me tat she really wanted to go bac to heiz...she tryied all means to snatch heiz away frm me...i m really very scared nw...i dunno wad to do..i noe its just a dream n its all not happening in e reality but at tat tym e feelin is like so real...tis is nt e 1st tym i dreamt tat heiz was being snatched by other gals..haiz..i really damn worried now...dunno wad to do...all tis dreamz onli happen everydae after heiz told me tat he tok to gals online nowadeas...its not tat i dun have faith in him..but i got to prepare 4 e worst..haiz..actualy i had a good dream at 1st but was woken up by my sore throat..den i went bac to slp..but din expect a bad dream to appear nxt...haiz..my mood todae is like totally ruin liao..haiz...i have to meet heiz later de but i scared i ruin his mood again which i dun wan to...he had told me b tat if my mood is nt gd dun find him...hiaz...i noe tat if i tell him e dream he will sure laugh at me n say its ridiculous...hiaz...

todae also nt feelin very well...gt sore throat n stomachache...hiaz..last tym when i heard tat i m goin out wif heiz i will like b damn happy...but todae i was like gt no feelin at all...is my feelin 4 him really started to fade???is tat good or bad???haiz...i really dunno...hiaz..i gt nth to say le..later den blog ba...haiz..

sianz...123456789

2006-09-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

todae very sianz lo...haiz...slack at home...den my few aunties come my house play majong...sianz la..any way 4 fun onli..haiz...sianz lo...

toade i tried very hard nt to think of heiz...i done it la...i dunno m i doin e right thing..i just feel nowadeas my feelings 4 him started to fade le..haiz...i really dunno y...haiz..i can b very sure of tis bcos last tym whenever i feel sian i will msg him n hope he will reply....but nowadeas when i sian i dun really msg him...dun wanna disturb him n eapecially his work so its lke he did reply or nt i dun really care liao..last tym i was like if he din reply me, i will like so call scold him...bu nowadeas i din..is my change good or nt??i really wonder...is it better 4 me for n thinkin of him too much???will our relatioship b as strong as ever if i have tis attitude??haiz..

thinkin of him goin out wif his room mate tml makes me kind of sad or mayb sian..its like i really wanna go out wif him after a week of not seeing him...but i tell myself its ok de...so long as he is happy...just now ka yan msged me say she can't make it tml...i was like damn sad at 1st but after thinkin i just confort myself...i duuno y i can do it...nt like last tym i will try my best to c him...i dunno y???i can really say i had changed a lot for him...dunno he realise it or nt..but all well...let nature takes it course ba...hum..sianz...nxt tym den blog ba...

haiz

2006-09-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

todae very sad...still bothing abt e breakin incicent wif him...haiz..at last i took up my courage to ask 4 a break...its like i really can't take it any more..i dun wanna end tis but nw it look like bo bian...haiz...i wrote a 9 pages leter to him e pass 2 daes tellin him hw i feel...but all he is say is touchin but fake..haiz..i dunno wad i goanna do...haiz...i really feel like a nobody in his life..not even catogorise as his frenz...whenever he is sad stress or feelin moody, e first person he can thing of destressin is his frenz but not me..its like everything i do he dun likes it..even if i put a lot of effort in makin him happy but he still won't c it...haizall tis is nt goana work..haizi dun wan tis kind of life....i really dun wan to b treated in tis way..i ahd tried my very best to save tis relationship but its not all me hu is doin e hard work but e other party keep pullin down...haiz..i agree tat he might very very stress in e comin exams...i too have examz..i too is stress...i also need to destress...haiz..i really need a tok wif him personally to settle tis problem...haiz...

ytd i called tanny my friend to tok...very sian...i shared my view of my realtionship wif her...hopin she can gif me advise or some sort...she wanted me to break wif heiz...haiz...i told heiz abt it...he felt as though he is happy...haiz..i really scared she will "steal" heiz away frm me...i really dun wan...haiz...i really need help...haiz...pls...should i end tis reationship like wad tanny say or shpuld i try to perservear...haiz..i also worry wad if heiz also hold a torch on her..wad m i goanna do?its like nowadaes heiz is like so call like to tok to gals...i told him to stop bcos i m sensitive but...haiz..if he is happy doin it den i realy gt nth to say lor...haiz...as heiz's lao por there r some tihngs he SHOULD noe...i told him seriously le but all he think slp...haiz...i really dunno he is listening to me or wad..haiz...i just wan wad a lao por basically should have...haiz...safe n sercurity...i wan to share my burden wif him but hope on e other hand he traust me in tellin me wad is bothering him n hope i can help him in any way...haiz..but now i guess he dun trust me le..now he onli trust his frenz...haiz..he even changed his acc password n nt letting me noe..haiz...i keep askin him wad izzt wad izzit but he just won't tell...haiz...he dun trust me liao..how??how??haiz..wad m i goanna do..haiz..ne he is like all he think is studies fren studies fren...nt a moment at me...haiz...i relly dun wan tis to happen to me..haiz...last tym his birthddae he said he will onli celebrate wif me n onli mi...ytd i asked him hu he celebratin wif...n he say he dunno...frm tis he is like dun wan me to celebrate wif me...i feel tat i m a nobody to him le..haiz..he raised his voice on me when i tok to him on e phone...wad is tis..haiz..its like he can step on my tail i can't la..i already tried to make him happy le..really...haiz...

all i can say is i really is very sad confused and worried now..haiz...should i end tis or nt..pls help me...plz...any1....

sianz

2006-09-10T22:10:00.000-07:00

sianz

2006-09-10T13:20:00.000-07:00

todae i feelin very sian...my realtionship is in a mess..haiz..i really need help...he is keep ignoring me tis few daes puttin me in smaller n smaller priority...hiaz...yes..every1 is busy wif their but at last enjoy with me in e weekend wad..he is like a completely changed person le..last time he won't tok to gals n now hw i will feel but now he dun even hesitat to tok to gals...he is spenin lesser n lesser tym wif me n even so he still gif me e cold shoulder whenever we go out..its like nth to tok lor...haiz..now he is like frens n family more important me but even if so also dun neglect me totally wad...he say i keep naggin at him i really din't lor...when i tell him my feelin in tis relationship he sae i m naggin..now meetin him e triple hard...haiz..wad m i goanna do...

ytd he went to e arcade wif cong min..he told me tat they actually wanna play e gun thingy but becos of me popin out they din gt a chance to play...isit my fault?all i wan is to have a good talk wif him onli...i try to ask him to meet out but he say he rather go out wif cong min than me...he say cong min will entertain him...does tat mean i can't?goin out wif me really is tat a difficult thing to do isit?y other couples can b happy together but i can't?hiaz...i really wan 2 save tis reationship but not one person's effort..is both...is breakin to him nth at all?doesn't he feel sad at all?haiz...y he can say break means break?is tis reationship come to e worst until nth can b done?haiz...

he wanted to go england to visit his relative but i stoped him..m i wrong...i mean i dun wan to b e bad guy here but i guess luv is selfish...so at last i ask him to go...but he said it is too late..e ticket is booked..haiz..den frm den on he started to gif me e cold shoulder..y is all tis happen to me?y?all i wan is a happy n long lasting relatioship...haiz...he ask me accept hu he is den hu is goanna accept hu i m ?hiaz..i really gt nth to say le..pls frens..help me pls...

sianz

2006-06-14T08:23:00.001-07:00

sianz sia...now is already half way till e end of year...n tats means o's is comin liao...i wonder hw my frens out there is doin...hope they r fine...todae i m goin to sentosa wif hsin n frens(battery)...erm...coooked le egg fore panic later...hum...todae's weather is fine..hope my mood too..haiz...

dear has not come to my house for e pass few daes ...now start studin for his n level n o's....haiz...miss him but its like bo bian...nvm la..1st bitter n next sweet ma right..hum...gtg le...goanna b late le..

miss all of ya out there!!!!!

sianz

2006-06-14T08:23:00.000-07:00

16th april

2006-04-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

at last have e time to bog liao...just end work onli...just reached hm frm ps eating dinner wif my fren n lg...very tired now...but at least now gt money liao...a bit...knew a lot of frenz workin wif me...we exchange fone no. msg here msg there if bo liao...but dunno y he is like so sensitive...dunno la haiz...quite stress la...saw a few frenz workin at e same place wif me...eg. amanda samatha sheryl....sianz...say stress nt stress but then say not stress also like..dunno la...actually hor i also gt so cal work n shoppin at e same tym la...i work frm 10 to 10..but i usually end quite eraly la....shhh!!!!mayb i souldn't say too much...thinkin of tml i gt to die liao..most of my frenz sch...left me alone have 2 do packing myself...lucky hsin todae gt do so packin 4 me sia or else dunno wad to do tml lor...haiz...gtg le...nxt tym blog ba...

6th april

2006-04-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

long time din blog liao...so nw nth to do den blog liao...on e 17th is sch reopenin liao...all my frens start their schooling happily waitin to go to their new polys n JCs...me?being e worst or i can say stupidest among my frenz have to go through O'levels again tis yr...haiz..honestly i really think screwed up my Os last yr...haiz...i cry when i gt my result..feeelin wad a failure i m to disappoint my frenz n family...haiz..i even dun dare to face my cousins n dun even have e face to reply them when they msg me to ask abt my results..hiaz...sometimes when i go out wif my group of frenz n they tok abt their studies..i was like feelin a bit left ot,useless or even speechless..haiz..wad m i goanna do?i really dun wan my parents to worry 4 me 4 my results de but seein their faces when they saw tat i wasn't going to gt into poly makes me very very sad but wad can i do??haiz..

recently gt a really strange disease on me..i was like scratchin all over my body feelin very itchy..havin n seein all those rashes on my body i really feel u noe euuuu..!!i went to see chinese doc and he gave me tat super bitter mediine to drink...wao!!!i hate it ok..haiz..bo bian drink lo..he told me tat e medication is long term de..n e most shockin news to me tat he said is tat " no more seafood frm now on till i gt better." i was lke in my heart" no way!prawnz n crab r my favourite.."but still haiz..control lor..it was like really tempting when i see my parents or whosoever eat seafood in frnot of me lor..haiz..but still i have to ren lor..haiz...when my frenz say they goanna eat steamboat...i was like shit man...haiz...but hu can i tell...its like i dun wan to ruin their plan of havin steamboat together...i dun becos of me 1 person tat meks e steamboat a failure to launch...haiz...i really is a bit troubled lor...haiz!!!really hope some1 will help me out lor..haiz..

now wif e help of wei hsin introducin me to a job..i guess 4 nw i have to do tat job lo...earn money..pay e retake fees 4 myself n do beeter tis yr ba...i really hope my frenz won't look down on me..trust me n can help me wheneven i need them..thankz...

2 daes n counting

2005-12-30T23:06:00.000-08:00

todae nothin lor...went out wif johnson...watch e movie "nania..."kind of nice la..we watched e 6 o'clock show...we meet at potong pasir mrt station..as usual he is late...late 4 10 mins or so...hum...den nvm la..guys r always late...dunno y...anyway..we bought e ticket straight away...den went to arcard to play...he play initial D n dunno wad squad thingy...shootin de la..pro sia...also saw e money changer guy...haha..he tok to me sia..haha...he say y nv come everydae to find him...lol...i was like huh???tis few daes i gt go wad...wif frens n johnson...haha..dunno him la..den later he bz laio..den din tok much liao...den after tat go find hsin...she workin mar...went to find her to noe e everything abt tml's thingy...den after tat walk walk wif jonhson lo..till 545 like tat den walk bac..in e cinema was like damn cold lor...wa lao...jacket also not enough sia...johnson knew i m cold den was like tryin to hold my hand lor..he say gif me warm...dunno la..but then i din let him hold la..haha...zai right...haha...e whole show i was like there shiverin lor..dunno y..shiver until wanna niao niao lor..haha..den after e show i chiong to e toilet lor...he too go toilet..den when i come i out he was like no where to b seen lor..den i find n find den realise tat he was actually queuing to buy drink..den i say him wad he buy...he said hot milo 4 me lor...tat time i was like damn touched lor..but dunno la...hum..den later went to bread tok to buy bread lo...den after tat take train go home liao lo...while i was waiting 4 e 142 bus to go home...my eyes suddenly veri pain..dunno y...so i bo bian have to take out my contect len lor...wa lao...damn pain sia..den reached home quickly take out another one lor..hum...

johnson msg me..say wad "i luv u"...haiz...i replied tat i treat him as my bro onli...he was sad i noe..damn sad..haiz...it is like i dunno y todae when he so call do sth "good" to me, i was like think of dear again...haiz..when he tried to hold my hand in e cinema n failed, it also remind me of dear....haiz...every little moves remind me of dear....haiz....i wan to 4 gt dear entirely de..hopin to gt into a so call new relationship..but i guess i had failed bar...i dunno y i can't 4 gt abt dear, wad he do n everything...haiz...mayb i m really nt ready to start a new relationship bar..haiz...sry johnson...i dun think ican put down my so cal "past relationship bar...

2 more daes to dear's return...haiz...i wonder will dear noe my feelin todae anot...cos he say he can't online till 12plus...haiz...no fate means no fate la...haiz...sad lo...mayb i should really try to 4gt dear entirely bar....haiz..

2daes n counting

3deas onli

2005-12-29T20:37:00.000-08:00

just ate my dinner...very full now..todae dunno y feelin very sick...haiz..sianz...also slp for a while la...4 to 630pm lo...dunno y so tired...haiz...tml goin out wif jonhson watch movie..very sianz wad..nth to do..but is like feel kind of weak now..haiz..

after tat online a while found out tat dear online..kind of surprise la..cos he say he won't b online till 11plus...hum...dunno leh...he say he online bcos of me....haiz....i really dun wanna let him down by breakin wif him when he is bac lor..but is like i dun wan it but i m doin it..haiz..dunno y..haiz..i wanna wait 4 him to come bac..but dunno y on e other hand doin things tat make him like so pissed off...haiz..i dunno la...i now also very pissed off lor...haiz...3 more daes onli la..haiz...

as for Donnovan...i din tok to him 4 say a week le...haiz..I HATE HIM ok..haiz..mayb e proverb "luv is blind" is really true ba...haiz...i really underestimated him ba..haiz..now even if he msg me or wad i also dun gif it a damn to reply him ok..haiz..

now is like nth to do except wait for dear to online lo...haiz...he went out to have dinner...haiz..really damn sianz sia..hum...blog later ba...

3 daes n counting...

3 daes n counting....

2005-12-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

todae din went out la..very sianz...at 1st plan to go kbox sing sing de wif germian n nian shun..but in e end gt sth on so din go lo...really very sry leh...haiz...now i dunno wad to do at home le..plan to iron ALL my outing clothes...haha...m i kind of insane or wad..hum...as 4 dear leh..he told me tat he went out wif his cousin lor...won't b bac till 11plus..haiz..dunno la...tmll i also like no activity lo...thinkin of askin some1 to pei me go out...johnson agreed to pei me...as 4 hsin she gt work tml so mayb go find her tml lo...laugh at her perhaps...haha..jkjk...

ytd work until siao...OT some more...den was like damn late den can come out lor...was actually goanna meet shu wen they all de...but really sry sia...make u all wait...haiz...in e end after everything i called wen..but she din ans..i called ting to ask where they are but she said they went hm liao...haiz...really sry sia...haiz...

now is like dear n my fate is like driftin apart lor...its like when he bz i m free n when i m free is is freaking bz...dunno y leh...he told me ytd tat his oversea phone bill is more than S$100...wtf...so many sia...ayb we shouldn't tok on e phone sai...so ex ok...i also dun wan him to kana scolded by his mum ok...haiz...i also dunno y i ask 4 a break again ytd...haiz...it is like he can't even handle his studies well enough how can he handle relationship...haiz..i asked him to think abt it...he told me ytd tat he din slp well..keep thinkin n thinkin..haiz..he said to me tis mornin tat he really dun wanna break cos he believe tat he can handle both well...it is like sch is reopenin lor..he won't have time 4 me la..haiz..i also dun wan him to so call squeeze out time to pei me lor..its like not so good la..haiz...i really dunno abt him la..wad he thinkin,wad he plan to do,wad he wan ect...haiz...

3more daes until dear return...haiz...not really excited lor...haiz..ytd called cong min to pei me go fetch dear but he was like dun wan dun wan like tat lor...haiz...i think he noe tat last ime he acc me go fetch dear he was like so call xtra lor..n me n dear so call quarrel bcos of him??haiz...actually is nvm de la..i m not so peety de la ok CONG MIN!!!....hum...nvm lor..haiz..m i carin too much business abt dear??haiz..i really wan to put him down...gt him out of my memory n 4get abt him in my entire life..but just dunno y i can't....y???haiz..i just dun wan to b his burden ok..luving some1 is like wad hsin say " as long as he is happy,u are already contented" and "makin e 1 u luv happy = make ur self happy"...haiz...mayb she is right ba...

hum...goanna cook sth to eat le...just woke up haven eat yet...think cook magi mee to eat baR...damn hungry sia...later den blog baR...bb

3daes n counting.....

4 daes n counting...

2005-12-28T00:01:00.000-08:00

haiz...a few more daes to his return...dunno y dun even feel as excited as b4...haiz...todae went out wif battery n kevin to e beach..wa!!weather damn hot...got tan a bit la..sianz...den later go to habour front to makan...treat them $20 split...haha...just got my pay ma...so trat them lo...haha...hum...dunno y my left hand gt 1 super big blue black...wtf..damn pain lor...den tat stupid nian shun was like keep "touchin"/ hittin tat bruise lor..wtf...damn pain leh...i was like shout in e public lor..den every1 look at me ok..wtf...e bruise dunno when n where kana de lor...den btw my rigght was like sth like burnt i guess..damn pain sia..is e god really wan to make my hand evenly pain??!!.haiz..den after e beach thing some go home some go play arcade like me la...lol..go ps...actually ask desmond they all come my house to play majong de(but e main motive is to slp la...lol) but they dun 1 so bo bian lo...den play n play until at nite lor...was kind of pissed of by my dad who keep callin me on e phone...wtf...he said i was also comin hm late...pls lor..is not every dae ok...i tis week was like gt play liao wanna go enjoy onli ma..added to tat i was like not very late hm ytd wad...9plus onli..haiz..suan le..

dunno y nowadeas i was like easily pissed off leh..haiz...dunno la..no mood to blog liao....haiz...

3daes n counting

5 daes n counting...

2005-12-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

now waiting 4 dear to online...he just msg me tat he won't be online till later...haiz..i wonder can i wake up or not if i stay up late...haiz..todae when to cousin's house to play majong....no win no loss la...hum...quite fun la..but my parents they all is like keep naggin lor..say wad cannot go home too late...haiz...i dunno is my fate n his fate gettin more rotten or wad...it is like when i m free he is bz n when i m bz he is damn free....haiz..dunno la..

ytd tok to him both on phone n online...dunno y feel veri pissed of by him..haiz..scolded him like dunno wad..haiz...dunno leh...is he really tat irritatin to me ytd..??haiz..it is like e feelin of hate for me to him when he just went bac is like comin bac liao...i dunno leh...haiz..now left 5 daes or so to his return liao...m i excited or not..is like nth big to me lor..haiz..i also dunno y...haiz..say i miss him???is tat e case i also dunno...now i also is like quite pissed of of him not online..dunno leh...haiz...no mood to online liao...hope tml e beach thingy will let me play until so siao tat i can cool down n not so pissed of to ppl bar...but guys out there(battery family) if i sunndely shout at u...really is damn ps ok...haiz...no mood to online liao..sick n tired of evrything now!!!...bb

5daes n counting...

7dae n counting

2005-12-24T09:32:00.000-08:00

now abt to go eat breakfast wif my mama le..den after tat go take my pay...banquet den...den after tat go shop 4 my fren's chritmas presents lor...haiz..dunno wad to buy 4 them sia...buy le scared they dun like..also budget tight...dunno la..todae is e onli day i can shop 4 e presents lor..i dun have time le..later at 530pm i will b workin at orchard till 3plus...i was like dunno y scared of kana caught le..cos it is like so call illigal...illegal as in we can't sell e spray near e road there but onli infront of e shop..dunno la..hope god can help me ba..i goanna enjoy sia todae i dun care..i know without dear i still can enjoy MYSELF de...haiz...think i got to go le...later free le den blog bar...lao gong...dun wait 4 me to online if u r too tired or bz or next dae gt event ok...i will understand de..dun worry..but really hope u can msg me at least la..tat is if u want la ok..bb

7daes n counting....

8daes n counting

2005-12-22T06:49:00.000-08:00

abt a few minutes i have to go out le..work lo...so now waitin 4 hair to dry so blog a while lo..now left 8 daes to hiS return..haiz..miss him??actually not so la..dunno y...now there's another guy who appear in my life le..he said he is interested in me..knew him dunrin work in banquet...haiz..he is quite nice la..treated me good since i knew him...now i was like kind of like dunno to do lor..choose him or dear??y m havin tis weird feelin??haiz..i really dunno..haiz..should i really give him a chance like wad wei hsin said??i once asked dear to give him a month's time to b wif him..dear was mad...but i think it is onli fair to gif every1 a chance la..hum..i dunno leh..haiz...now dear is worried n sad..it is like both of them treated me too well nowadeas liao lor..haIZ...

i think i stop bloggin here..goanna b late 4 work...hope deaR can msg me later baR...

8daes n counting......

12deas n counting

2005-12-19T03:47:00.000-08:00

haiz..just saw my taggie tat dear is sick..omg..really very worried abt him..haiz..dunno y...haiz...mayb he won't b online tml le..haiz...dunno la...

todae went to raffles to work...its a successful 1 4 me la..haha...met a guy(food server)very funny...so i so call "play"wif him lor..nth to do ma at first...also ate an ice cream...haha..very siok..haha..den me n hsin decided to work OT..haha...so we work till 3am lor..haha...lol...oh ya..tat guy's name is Don(sth)...he sae call him Don...he is my so call new didi..haha..dunno leh..is he started called me da jie de ok..haha..lol..todae e event is wedding dinner...wa lao..e bride damn nice sia..haiz..tis is e 2nd weddin i work le..every time c this happy occasion i will like start to think when is my turn lor..haha..dunno la..mayb marryin mayb not??hu noes...very envy the couple lor..den at e end 1 man vomitted sia..haha...den all those hu work OT laugh at him..haha..very funny...den took e free transport home lor..lucky i m e 2nd to reach him out of e 2o++ ppl...haha...durin e OT i secrectly when to e locker to check my phone!!wa lao...6msg..haha..dear is 1 of them la..n Don my didi..haha..

anyway i now safely reach home le..so dear,dun worry ok...thaknz 4 e concern..hope u tml can online n i also can online..n rmb to blog ok...n btw i neo u very happy la...so many ppl support u..haiz..ok la..blog when i wake yp ba..dunno can mar..loL..

12daes n counting...

lost count

2005-12-18T11:37:00.000-08:00

at last dear can online le..haha...very happy..accordin to him he say tat he gt scolded by his mum for e phone bill..haiz...sry sia...pls dun call me frm now on ok...pls...i tok to him till 3...very tired now...workin at 1 at orchard...den later banquet...sianz..bo bian work is like tat de..haiz...he manage to tag my blog..tats good, n also updated his blog...he was sad...haiz..i dunno y...now there's another person who appear in my life...lets call him "A"..he cheered me up when i m sad till e core..he tok to me on e phone n consoled me even his grandma had just passed away..haiz...how sad...haiz...now i m bz..toking to both of them...i told dear abt him..i shouldn't accept him should i?i dun wan to but he was like "too good" as in nv ps me la..dunno la..i sholdn't even think abt it i neo but...haiz..dear told me his feeling abt tis issue...he was sad also..i dun blame him really!!..everything is my fault..to make him sad, worry abt me(a so call nobody in his life)..haiz...y can't i stop all this nonscence..Y?!!he was abt to cry le i neo frm his webcam...it is nt we r goanna leave each other or sth..but i really can feel tat e gap between ur is getting bigger n bigger..n it cannot b corrected in just a few daes..wound takes time to heal la..but even it had heal there will still b scars being left behind la...haiz...i really dunno wad to say..

i think i gtg le...mayb blog later ba..frens of mine out there pls gif me comments ok..thankz...c ya..

13daes n counting...

16daes n counting

2005-12-15T19:10:00.000-08:00

todae went out wif batteries...haha..to celebrate sofina's bdae...quite fun la...play n play...dance ddr also..haha...eventhough i sux at it but play 4 fun lo...den time will pass faster...like so long din blog liao...dun really have e time actually...work until 11 every nite n have to tok to dear n also watch my show...very tiring la..hum..borrowed lighter frm Jon den he was like so fuck up lor...justin pei me go jie e lighter frm him..even he say they r fuck up...haiz..

can manage to stop thinkin of dear liao...if he go 4 onli 2weeks like last time..he should b bac by todae or tml de...but haiz...it is 1 month..haiz...i work there ok ok la..made a lot of frenz like mel n magen...at least not so bored la..have to stand 4 10hours straight cannot sit lo...but all these come wif a price la so nvm lo..bare wif it lo...gt pay tat dae will be siok la..dear called me every nite 4 these few nites la...dunn y sudden so good to me...he tok to me even he has flu lo...very worried abt him sia...dunno la..todae off so have e time to blog..haha...as 4 dear,he told me tat he is out wif his family...so mayb i dun disturb him lor...very bored now so i think i go watch my show baR...free le den blog bAr...

16daes n counting

21daes n counting...

2005-12-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

just came bac frm thailand...very tiring...but overall quite fun la..manage to stop thinkin of dear for a while..but when ever it comes to nite i will start thinkin of him again..haiz...visited a lot of places la...but e place there nt as good as singapore la...very smelly...went there keep havin stomach pain..dunno y...

now i dunno dear free anot...just now msg him he was like veri bz...havin dinner??till now still haven msg me..haiz..have he 4gotten me??haiz...dunno la...haiz...still got 21daes till his return...haiz..so long lor...haiz...dunno i can manage to pull through this anot..haiz..it is like every1 is so happy n excited abt e comin christmas but me???haiz....din tok to dear 4 veri long le...really miss his voice..dunno how abt him...haiz...

now hsin is doin her work..in raffles..haha...wonder how she is now..haha..1st dae sia..lol..really veri sry to ps her lor...i suppose to go wif her todae de...sry hsin...!!!tml i still have work in e morning till nite..dunno will tired anot..hope i can be as bz as possible tml so as not not think of dear...haiz..hope tml will b a happier dae 4 me baR...

ps: hey guys thankz 4 givin me all e comments..u guys do help alot...thankz...really can't do without u guys...at least i m nt as lost as b4...thankz...

21daes n counting..

24daes n counting...

2005-12-06T14:05:00.000-08:00

now abt to fly le...around 6 plus like tat..haiz...dunno leh...dun really feel like goin cos dun really have e mood...haiz...ytd gt 1 ppl wanna jio me...should i accept him??haiz...mayb i should..haiz..mayb tis is 1 way i can 4gtabt dear baR..dunno leh..i just dun wan to b a flirt lo..but..haiz...but everydae miss dear..i can't even eat or slp well...isn't tat worst..haiz..frenz out there..pls help me...i really need some1 to guide me through these route...accept him or not??haiz...wad willdear think...or will my life b much happier like tat..i dunno la..haiz..pls help me...i also dun wanna to lose a fren like tat guy also...n everydae i still have to face him cos he is workin next to my workplace..wat should i do..??

24daes n counting

24daes n counting..

2005-12-06T00:20:00.000-08:00

todae nth lor...as usual work n work lo...very tired...haiz...thinkin of dear again...haiz...at least manage to tok to him at 4am ytd...he now is in jap le..me tml or i can say todae evening goin thaild le...dunno y can't have e "play" wholehearted feeling leh...haiz...but at least can pei my family on tis trip la..intendin to buy lots of stuffs there..if have money la..i dunno y i dun feel excited at all lor..haiz...mayb is too miss dear lo...i com baC at e 10th..haiz..thinkin of tat..i really sign lor..it is like not even half of e month lor..haiz..dunno la...but i m glad tat dear still luv me la...accordin to what he say on e phone..haiz..now i also miss him sia..but can't contact him...haiz..mayb goin to thaild can help me relax baR..haiz...

i also dunno y i like 2 blog everydae leh...i neo dear can't read it but i still blog...dunno wad e heck is wrong wif me...hum..i really wish i can c him lor..haiz..dunno la..i todae is like too tired until have no mood to think of him le...haiz..hope tml will b a beter dae 4 me baR..luv u dear 4eva...

24daes n counting

haiz

2005-12-04T23:40:00.000-08:00

after a hard dae's of work..at last can go home le..gt a news tat i goin thailand on comin tuesday to satdaes...dun really feel like goin leh..have to ps hsin lor..so guo yi bu qu...haiz..but bo bian la...todae went orchard to work...leg very suan..haiz..hw i wish dear is wif me to help me out..haiz..he is also goin jap tml...haiz...goanna miss him double le..haiz..i think i go thaild i also will nt like play wholeheartedly lor..haiz...mayb miss dear baR...ytd waited 4 his call but he din call...haiz..until just now i msg him den he reply...lucky sia...i gt a feelin he is like dun luv me anymore le..haiz..hw??haiz..msg him 10 he reply 4 or less lor..haiz...dunno la..haiz...mayb i SHOULD think tat after goin thaild i left wif 2 weeks or so...an wei myself...haiz...lucky my frens r there to support me all e way lo...haiz..todae work there gt alot of ppl..especially couples lor...c ing them so en ai...i really hope dear will b like tat too...haiz..dun put too much hope la..i also gt think tat when sch reopen...dear must study n i also have to ps him to work...mayb i m kind of cruel la...dunno la..he do tat i will do double ...muhahaha...dunno la..dunno have e courage to do so anot..haiz...now waitin 4 dear to online...he say his gugu helping to him to use his dad com...cos his house com spoil...haiz...

27daes n counting...

27daes n countin..

2005-12-04T10:01:00.000-08:00

ytdheard frm dear tat he is goin to jap frm mondae to fridae...haiz...when i heard tis i was like...haiz...i thought he was suppose to be in HK like pei me tok on e com or some sort..but haiz..now i noe e truth tat he is actually enjoying himself lor..haiz...disappointed lor..i was like here counting 4 his return but he was like there dunno doin wad...i msg him ytd nite n he told me tat he was shopping wif his aunt n mum...den when he say tat he was havin dinner i stop msging him le...i waited n waited for him to u noe at least msg bac or some sort but haiz...he din even gif it a damn to msg me or call me...haiz...i was like also tried to call him alot of times but his hp was switched off...haiz..is he avoiding me??haiz...he told me happily tat he gt his dream phone n psp....i asked him wad he think abt our relationship...he was like keep changing subject lor..haiz...he broke his promise ok..he said tat his com will b ready by ytd nite..but now he din even com online lor..wtf...he asked me wad i treat him as..fren or lao gong...i din reply..n instead asked him wad he think my answer should b...haiz...he say he treat me still as his lao por..but i dunno is he sayin e truth anot...haiz..i m very confuse ok...haiz...i really miss him lor..y can't he come bac earlier..haiz...y??i din slp well ytd....half slp n half awake...when slping i dreamt of him comin bac..i was like on top of e world lor...i hug him lor..but durin tat dream i noe tat all tat is nt true n is nth but i dream lor...i wanted to continue slpin dreamin of e good thing but...haiz..after awhile i dunno y wake up le...haiz...i really can't slp well lor...haiz...but i keep tellin myself tat everything will b over soon...i havE my frens behind me to support me all e way...n e 1st of january dear will surely come bac de cos he need to study...haiz...i keep tellin myself tat tat dae will come in a flash de..n dun worry...haiz...

ps: here i just wanna say tat thankz 4 tat entry tat is specially 4 me..i really appiciate it alot ok..thankz 4 e encouragement...mayb tats wad i need most baR...n joanne...thankz too...now i really need u guys' support to pull me through tis difficult time of mine baR...if can help...really a big thankz to u guys baR....-_-**

27daes n counting...

28daes

2005-12-03T23:48:00.000-08:00

sianz...todae wake up...immediately msg dear...haiz..ask him to break...haiz...he is dunno happy or sad...haiz...i really can't take it anymore...its my fault....its me hu can't tolerate..haiz...i m really very miserable lor...hu noes it anywhere...haiz..i told dear abt my problem...n wad can he help...just by sayin sry??haiz..dunno la..i m really very confuse lor...i dun wan2 shed a single tears 4 him any more..i m tired of it liao..really very tired...now even when i cry i had no tears liao..all dry up le..haiz...y...its all becos of him lor...haiz..

later goin out wif hsin to find job...hope i can manage to find 1..n ya..4gt abt dear lo...haiz...i really can't hide my feelings in my heart anymore...i really can't take it le...it hurts alot...really...haiz..hope i can 4gt him entirely n lead a happy n wif no worries life baR...haiz...

28daes n counting

28daes

2005-12-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

todae went to orchard to look 4 job...hum..at last found le..haha..good lar..at least workin can take over dear in my mind lor...n i won't cry so often le...i know tat dear dun luv me as expected lor..haiz...really veri diasppointed..haiz..i tell him sth abt breakin he was like bo chap like tat..wonder wad he is thinkin now...haiz...if he really find me a nuiscence den tell me la..haiz...to me now dear was like not so good after all in my memory...haiz...i also dunno y i say i wanna break wif him leh..now thinkin bac..i feel kind of stupid...but will he 4gif me??wad is said is said wad..haiz...i also regreted tat morning din eat breakfast wif dear..haiz..should have lor..how stupid was i...haiz...i was in a foul mood tat dae wad..haiz..now 1dae is almost over le...getting more n more happy...dunno y...izzit bcos of dear or not...i dun neo...right now i dun wanna think abt him le...onli make me sad only...hum...hope his com will b okie asap baR...can tok to him n hopefully he will reply my msg n phone no matter hw bz he is bar...n also count down wif me baR...haiz...

28daes n counting

2005-12-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

i dropped tears of sorrow dae by dae...tryin to put a happy face in front of my friends...not showin my true feelings to them...not letting my parents to noe my feelings now...later they worry too much..i dun wan tis to happen lor..haiz..y m i doin tis...i dunno..in my heart i hate him a lot..but...haiz...no comments....dunno la...nth seems to take over him in my heart leh...it is very miserable ok...does he noe?haiz..i doubt so...haiz...i really is very heart broken ok...haiz..no 1 neos my feelin now la..no one...haiz...i wanna hear his voice desperately but doea he noe??all he msg was"sry can't call u"...haiz...n then...bye bye..haiz...dunno la...i m dead meat now ok..haiz..i HATE tis feeling ok...

haiz..

2005-12-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

todae went to e beach wif hsin n frens..quite happy la..haiz...it would b perfect if dear is around...haiz...wonder wat he is doin nw..haiz...he did msg me la...a while onli...haiz...i really miss him lor...haiz...oh ya found out tat i gt e gal's problem todae..mayb tis is y it makes me mood swing todae baR...haiz..i have to put a happy face in front of my frens lor..its kind of difficult lor..but..haiz...bo bian...hu ask dear ps me...haiz...dunno la..

ytd tok to my cousin on e phone...i cried...she consoled me..haix....she ask me to end tis relationship lor...she sae she dun wanna c me in tis state lor...haiz..i really confused lor...haiz...mayb she is right bar...haiz..i can't even tell my mum abt it when i m sad lor...wat will she think??foolish??hauiz....to tell u e truth i really did think of breakin up lor..haiz...i duno la...haiz..bloggin onli makes me sadder lor...haiz..goanna drop tears le..haiz...really miss him alot...

went to ps arcade wif my frens todae..haiz...makes me think of dear again lor...haiz..dunno la...he ps me?y should i gif in to him lor..haiz..dunno la...lost germain's ball there lor...haiz.. really sorry lor..haiz..

tml goin out wif hsin to find job...haiz..mayb goin out time will pass faster baR...haiz..really hope so lor...haiz...really hope he will come baC ASAP lor...n hope he will read my blog tag n update his blog asap lor...haiz...but i doubt he will la...tml is saturdae lor...he is goin out i guess ba...haiz...at least he can go out in ease lor...but to me ...haiz...

haiz...gtg le..later blog again lor..haiz

29 daes n counting

haiz

2005-12-01T13:42:00.000-08:00

haiz...dear is goin bac todae liao..haiz...dunno him la..feeeling veri sad now..dunno y...i dun wanna feel tis way but...haiz...bwg..he said he dun wan to ps me le..but now...haiz...i dunno leh...i really condamn myself le..haiz...comdamn him??i dun noe..haiz...its like he is goin 4 1month lor..last time he went 4 2weeks i was like sad until siao liao lor..let alone tis 1month..haiz...no 1 knows how i feel la..haiz..dunno la...very confuse now...feel like cryin out..but hu will lend me his/her shoulder???haiz...thinkin of him i was like goanna cried liao...haiz...i dun wanna think abt it de but...haiz...after he go liao i will surely got nth to do de..haiz..when i need him most where is he..when i m happy..no worries of my o's n wanna play wholeheartedly..where is he..haiz..really sad sia...haiz...

ytd cried e whole nite...use i think 5 to 6 packet of tissue paper...cried like siao...dunno y..dunno la..its like his com spoil lor..how to comunicated...haiz...phone???very ex ok...haiz...i really very confuse la....now my heart was like achin like hell lor..den jiu cry lor...haiz...really wish some1 can pei me through tis difficult time....dunno y feel like goin to e beach now...cry it all out...shout it all out...haiz...but i doubt any 1 will pei me...haiz..dunno lar...dunno y i feel sad leh...i should b feelin very happy cos dear can finally go bac to c his family...but i some how feel like dunno wad leh...my feelin like some how can't be discribed...haiz...pain perhaps...haiz...all i can do is to wish him bon voyage n all he did was to say bye bye...haiz..dunno la..now before he go HK our relationship was like gettin more n more sour le..but he think it is all worth it...den i guess i bwg lor...haiz...dunno leh...i really take it as a torture lor...n it is very pain....haiz...does he neo..i doubt so..haiz...enjoy???is tat all wad he noes...haiz...1 month jiu 1 month lor..haiz...i can gurantee tat when he come bac..i dun give it a damn ok....i dunno y i started to hate him liao...haiz..hate him nt being by my side when i need him..hate him not sharing my burden n sorrow wif me...hate him do such a cruel thing to me which i hated most...ps...hate him hate him hate him...really very much...until i really wanna box him...haiz...but when i box him i was goanna cry again like tat..haiz...my feeling is in a mess now la...how i wish some1 can help me to pull me out of e sorrow bed...let me lead a happy n carefree life...wif no worries but just happiness onli...haiz...but i doubt tis day will come la...haiz...

his flight is 345...145 must check in le...haiz...typin tis entry makes me feel very sad...douful and heavy hearted ok...but does he noe...haiz..i really can't bear him to leave lor..i had tried once selfishly to ask him stay 4 my sake...but he rejected me...haiz...mayb he is right...in e past he give in to me too much le..haiz...too much until tis kind of thing happen now...haiz..is tis luv??haiz...suan le la...bu zou still have to zou de...haiz...he also tried to meet me todae mornin but i rejected him...haiz...i dunno y...i really wanna c him now...but its too late le i guess...he put e bag he wanted to give me outside e door n leave le..hai..he also left his so call most precious thing wif me...his initial d card wif me...haiz..tis make me more sad ok...seein tat card makes me more miss him lor...haiz...he also left me a jacket ...haiz...

he just called in e car on e way to e airport..haiz...tok less than 3 sentence den cup e phone le...izzit he dun wanna tok to me??is he avoidin me or some sort..is he sick of me...izzit he dun wanna give me e last chance to take to him???haiz..now kelly is also cryin liao...haiz...hu won't cry when her luv one is leavin...haiz...guys r useless ok..haiz...dunno la...

haiz...tml goin to e beach wif battery...i should b excited de..but dunno y i feel so numb..haiz..hope dear will read me blog more often n tag my blog...n his com be ok asap..haiz...

haix

2005-11-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

haix...3 more daes to go..haiz...he really wanna go le..haiz...dunno is miss him or hate him..haix..y is he doin tis to me...he think is just 4 a little time being but to me??!!!1 month is like 1 year to me..haiz..but does he neo..haiz..mayb we r really not meant to be together baR...god is pullin us apart..wad can we do..is tis fate...haiz...perhaps i will 4 gt him when he come bac baR..itS a torture ok..i hate it but no choice...

i was gattin frustrated wif him all of a sudden...dunno y...haiz...i hate him..i hate him ps me..i hate him not accompanyin me throught christmas....i hate him not being at my side when i need him most...i hate him in makin tis stupid decision..i hate him being a HK ppl....i hate him 4 not thinkin of my feelin...i hate him....i hate him....so much...no words can express my feeling now...y m i goin throught tis redundent thing...y m i in tis state...y i feel tis way...y...y...y...i really need an answer...but hu can help me...haiz....

he claim tat he luv me but is tis actions call luv??!!!answer it urself ok...u neo hu...i really hate it ok...HATE IT!!!mayb luv is really blind...but e worst thing is tat no 1 wanna help me..lead me throught tis dark tunnel...where is he??!!

i've got so much to tell him but i m reaLLY scared i dun have e time...i really need to cool down now...i really have no mood...haiz...i thought my O's finished le i can relax n at tis time when i can play wholeheartedly....where is he....enjoyin??!!!haix...i really have no mood to blog le..haiz..

sianz

2005-11-21T21:22:00.000-08:00

nowadeas very sianz..one more day to e end of my o's...dunno is happy or sad...cos it also mean dear is goin bac to HK le..haiz...dunno whether i miss him or not...haiz....

had a little tift again wif HIM..haiz..i dun really wish to talk abt it any more...haiz...after tml..muhaha....i will chiong to prepare 4 e prom nite...very excited sia...went to my aunt shop to borrow some accessories..haha...den after tat go serangoon to find dear..haiz..i thought i can 4giv him after quarrelin wif him but...haiz..disappointed sia...e worst thing is tat he dun think tat he is in e wrong lor..haiz...now he make me hate him more ok..haiz....i dun wan2 but no choice...haiz..
went to kovan to eat wif him...thought everything is bac to normal...but..haiz...saded...dunno la..

meeting jamie tml at 1pm...so sian...thinkin of gt exam i waS like sian sia...hiaz...think i goanna slp now le...bb

haiz

2005-11-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

1 more days to o's le...veri scared sia...really scared lor..haiz...was lookin forward to my farewell party n prom...haha...very excited...haiz...dear goin bac to HK less than a month...haiz..sad sia...is he ganna miss me..i dun noe...really...haiz...

had a little tift wif him ytd..haiz..he ans me bac ok..wtf...din really expect tat to happen...haiz...disappointed...dunno leh...nowadeas he was like makin me love n hate him...i really dun noe la...haiz..dun really wan to think abt tis thing anymore...wan to concentrate on my studies 1st..haiz...confuse sia...its like he was tryin his very best to make me happy nowadeas but wad happen after he come bac frm HK...will he change???i can i accept e change..i really dun noe...haiz...will he be like tat time like tat...come bac n e 1st thing is scold me....haiz...i really very scared...haiz...he already betray my trust upon him...i really wanna help him..but its like he is goin frm bad to worst...i dun noe la..i toold him not to condam himself but all in all its his decision...i trust him to make e most wise decision but in e end....haiz..dun wanna tok abt it anymore....i always tell myself suan le...but there's always tis feelin tat stop me frm doin tat...haiz..tat time he went bac....haiz....suan le...i "think" i can can suan le...i hope...haiz

he always blame me...balme me in everything i do...m i not right to make my own decision...m i not big enough...haiz...mayb to him i m just a childish person like wad he say...haiz...

sianz

2005-10-24T12:27:00.000-07:00

iTs goanna b mY o's soon....kinD of scared...hiaz...hu neos it anyway...haiz...my minD is like...in a whirl..thinkin oF alot oF things...ytD tok to deaR on e phone..haiz...very disappointed sia..he was like talk bac to me ok..haiz..pls lor...i m jusT tokin to a frienD on e phone lor...y musT him b so jealous abt...haiz..all tiS may b becos of me bar...mE n mY biG mouth..haiz....

i oncE tokld him tat i will finD a new bF when he came bac frm HK...he was like kind of sad..haiz..he is goin bac in December...kinD oF misS him lor...but wad to do...when i really can play all i wan...where iS he...when i wan some1 to share e joy wiF me after my o's...where iS he...haiz..he is goin 4 a month..not week or daY ok..haiz..a normal person of coS will lose feelin of him after not seeing him 4 a MONTH wad...i really iS veri confuse ok...wad if...i mean wad iF i really did find a bF...wad iF i had met tat somE1 hu will accompany my throughout my life...not to leavin me 4eva....should i accept him or wad...haiz..4 a gal...i really need some1 to caRE 4 me..to share my joys n sorrow...to play wiF me...some1 hu i can tok to when i really need hiM...some1 hu can tok to me when i m bored....haiz...iS there really no such guy tat will appear in my life 4eva...haiz...i cried ytd..feelin veri disappointed veri diasppointed...i neo i m a person hu can't really look on e bright side so easily ok..accept or not...duN accept..den go away la..haiz..i neo i dun havE timE to hatE him ok...i really wan2 think abt study n only study ok...haiz...he told me tat he was afraid tat i will leave him 1 day...but think abt it...when i really need u mosT where r u...hu dun wan his/her life to b perfect...but iS there really such thing as perfect in life...haiz..i really dun noe hw to face u after u come bac..i really is afraid tat our relationship will turn sour....like e other time u came bac...haiz..u said u won't do it again but can i really trust u...i can say yes now but have no garauntee after u came bac ok...he did tried his best to make me happy i neo....mayb i m e 1 being selfish here...i said le...accept or not...haiz... i dun wanna tok abt tiS any more le...i really havE no time ok...haiz...studY 1st....haix..

long long ago

2005-10-01T14:28:00.000-07:00

so long din blog le...so todae blog blog lo...sianz sia...goin to rain nw...actually goin out de but den sick...so can't go out lo..haiz..havin fever...o levels is comin soon...i must b in a good condition to study ...haiz....nw tat prelim is just over...n i din did well...i really is very worried...haiz..

yesterdae gt onE guy suddenly called me sia...at about 3 in e mid night....siao 1 lor...e strange thing is tat he neos my name....oh no...hu is he anyway...i was like shivering in my blanket when he called...siao 1 lor...hum...tok to him 4 a while, about 1 hour like tat den cup e phone le lo...he actually say wanna meet todae de but i dun 1....n i won't ok...haiz...weird...woke up to give dear a morning call in case he is late for his chinese test todae..he reached hm at 2 in e mid night lor...so tired...haiz...3o+ daes to o levels liao...haiz..veri scared..ahve to mug n mug....

dear's birthdae he comin soon on 5 of october...dunno wad to buy 4 him...have to buy lo...haiz...so confused...not tat i m sick ...i dunno i still can go out anot...sianz...haiz...its closin to december le..n dear have to go bac HK le...haiz..thinkin of tat i really feel veri sad sia..but haiz bo bian...have to go means have to go..haiz...durin tat month i think i goanna work like hell lor...earn $...n mayb tis will help me 4 get dear 4 a while....haiz...he come bac is when his sch reopen...haiz..dunno leh..i asked him a question once" wad if when u come bac u found out tat i have a new BF?"haiz...he was like quite sad lo...n e worst thing is tat i thought he will "fight" 4 me....but he won't...haiz...sad to hear tat sia...

jusT gave $ 4 e prom night...can't wait for tat dae sia...haha...but thinkin of tat I was like have to spend $ on clothes n stuff...izzit worth it??hum...tat prom thingy is $20...so cheap skate lor..i hope we won't b goin to comunity club like e pass few years sia....omg...i m partnering YOng KiaT ...a so call good fren of mine...hum...

next time den blog...c ya guys....

haiz

2005-07-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

haiz...dunno y...ytd night dear told me tat he will go bac to HK in december for 2 mths..haiz..i was kind of sad but i dun really neo hw to express myself...haiz..do i miSs him??!!i dun neo...itS like when he is in HK for 2weeks tat timE...i was like cried like hell lo...does he noe tat..i dun neo...now itS not two weeks lo..itS 2 months...MONTHS lo...haiz..but on e other hand i dun wan him to quarrel wif his mum...itS hiS mum ask him to go 4 2 months de lo....haiz..i can't stop him lo...i DUN have e right okie!!!haiz..go den go la...itS like everytime he go HK n come bac i was feelin tat our relationship kind of drift apart lo...now itS like bac to normal liao.n den he was like goin away AGAIN...i dun wanna stop him...but...haiz...i jusT hate e feelin of bein pang sei...haiz..dunno la...very confuss now...haiz...when i think of it again i goanna cry lo...

he told me in e phone ytd nite tat he regrad joi ing me..haiz...i was like..omg...iS my relationship with him goanna end....haiz...he cried i neo...haiz...mayb tats e best way out baR...since he is so troubled abt me..perhaps he should take a break ba..haiz..i dun wan him to suffer bcos of me...troubled whether he got ps me or not...can't slp...listen to me humiliating him or sth..haiz..i neo he can't take it liao...y not tell me straight..haiz...i dun neo la...right now...i dun wan to think abt anything...jusT studies...dun wanna think abt him...dun caRe any1 le...study n study n study...haiz...mayb tis will make him n me happy...givin each other a break ba...haiz...

later i may go out wif mian shun to Kbox to sing baR..sing like hell perhaps...haiz...sing out all my sorrow....haiz...

less than a dae...

2005-06-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

haiz..todae dear din com online at all..even hiS frenz also say so...wonder wad happened to him...i mean he is not feelin well lor...how can he go here go there...haiz..gettin more n more worried for him....haiz...wonder wad e heck is he doin now...where e heck is he now...haiz...kind oF miSs him sia..haiz..wonder he miSs mE mar..haiz...dunno itS like i goT a feeling tat sth baD is goin to cope up...haiz...dunno wad...haiz...two daes later sch reopen le...i wanna enjoy wif dear while i can...haiz..but where is he now???is he busy or wad??at least tag my blog to tell me maR..yes..mayb he is busy..busy until tis lao por also forgt liao....haiz...saded...suan le la..forgive n forget..haiz....really wanna know wad time is his flight frm HK...den reached here at wad time..haiz...but how to ask him....haiz...suan le...mayb tml see him i will.........haiz....dun wanna sae le...let nature takes itS cosT baR...haiz...

less than onE dae left...

1dae...

2005-06-24T16:58:00.000-07:00

just to blog b4 goin to tution...haiz..dear still haven online...haiz....dunno wad happen to him...very worry...haiz...din do any tuition homewrok...all i did was my sch maths homework....a lot lor...i copy until siao..haiz..dear!!!!where r u....haiz....DEAR!!!!.....now also no mood to eat le..haiz...argh!!!i m goin crazY....haz...hope dear can hurry online...i wanna ask him wad time he board e plane...haiz...n around wad time reach...haiz...me n cong min meetin at 1230 at my house downstairs...haiz...really hope dear can giv me a reply..haiz...got to go le...haiz..deaR!!!!enjoy will u can baR...haiz...recover soon ok...or else saturdae when u come bac i dun go fetch u huh...jkjk..gtg le...bb...

1dae...faster....faster...faster...faster....faster.....

1dae...

2005-06-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

haiz..waiting 4 dear to online e whole afetrnoon...even slp also nv switched off e com..but he leh..din even bother to online...even online also din tok...haiz...suan..dun care dun care lor..haiz..nth to say le...bb..haiz...

1dae....y...y...y..y..

1 more dae...muhaha

2005-06-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

1 more dae b4 dear reaturn...haha..lookin forward to it...hum...he is now online but i called him its like no respond lor...haiz...he said he is feelin better le...wad a relief to hear tat...really hope tat he din bluf me la..hum...is he alseep now or wad...??haiz...wad if his mum dun let him come bac bcos he is not feelin well??haiz..if so den suan le lo...haiz...todae went to sch for councillor meeting...a while onli lo...its like none of e sec 4 business lor...we went there just to seat n listen...haiz...have to wake up early u neo...haiz..i can't slp well ytd..dunno y...mayb worry abt dear baR..but at last at around 4plus to five i manage to slp...den around eight plus woke up lor...haiz..not feelin well tis mornin..even my frenz also say tat my face very pale...haiz..dunno wads wrong wif me ar..haiz...now outside is like drizzling..so sianz...but i rather now rain like siao den tml dun rain...tat will b better..hehex..hope so baR...hum..later gt tuition..haven even touch a single homework..haiz..i was keep doin my sch homework for e past few daes...den now dunno how lor..mayb do some baR...but i neo i wanna rest a while..kinD of tired now...argh!!!borrowed some maths homework frm daphny...hum...really have to thank her sia for lendin me..think i got to slp le...tar tar...

1dae n i will b free frm my misery...muhaha

1 more dae...muhaha

2005-06-24T00:21:00.000-07:00

yeah!!!at last one more dae..haha..just finish my goe homework..haha..todae at 10am i gt councillor meeting...haiz..den later got tuition lor...saw dear online a while ago..den din tok..haiz..sad...really hope he can online tnl afternnon sia..haiz..morning got tt stupid meeting...hope i can lent maths homework frm my frenz lor..i left with maths homework only..haiz..really miss dear..haiz...hope he is slping well tonite..haiz..hope he can tag...todae like din really tok to him much..haiz...suan le..ps den ps lo...haiz..i m a bad person any way to him...i m just a nobody to him..haiz..nvm la..a fact is a fact..LAU WAN LING ACCEPT IT LA...haiz....just ate my medicine..feelin quite drozzy now..but still wait 4 dear..haiz..think no hope le la..haiz..suan....certain things not sae wanna forget means forget de..if u wan to 4get sth also must take time de ma...haiz...think i goanna slp le...hope dear can tag tml morning...i also dun wanna b late for my meetin..so...gt to slp le..bb

1dae...omg..i can't believe it....its comin....cominG..nearer......

slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp slp

2daes n counting..

2005-06-23T13:12:00.000-07:00

just ate my medcine...think i goanna b ok when dear come bac...2 more daes...i m so excited...tml still have to go sch..sianz...councillor thingy..haiz...woke up at 11 plus todae..damn tired..mayb is bcos of e medicine bar...hum...woke up immdiately n online n read dear's blog..hum...haiz...no comments...oh ya..he tagged my tagboard..say wad he have to help his mum todae..so dun think can online...haiz..if he todae cannot online den i think i can online until tml afternoon le..haiz...finished part of my homework..very happy..but still left a lot...haiz..dunno wad m i goanna do sia...todae my aunties all come...dunno can finish my homework or not...added to tat i m on medication wad..now damn tired..haiz..argh!!!tml also have tuition...sianz...think on staurdae when i c desr i will cry lor...haiz..ytd dun really have a good slp...still thinkin of wad dear had said abt me ytd..haiz..kind of hurting..haiz..wad can i do..i can 4giv but can't forget..haiz...nth to do now..wanna slp..haiz...oh ya..my aunt said tat i look like lin jia xing...muhaha..really meh..i mean lin jia xin so chio n i m so ugly..how can compare..no comments...anyway...blog later..if i m free...haiz..

2daes n countin

itSZ alwayS morE easy to foRgiv thaN forgeT....haiz...accepT e facT...

3 daes..

2005-06-22T16:26:00.000-07:00

haiz..just scolded by dear..haiz..m i really in e wrong..haiz...(cryin now)..haiz..if so wads e point of appologising to him..all he neo is scold me..haiz..den i let him scold lor..since he is in a bad mood...wad can i do....he is like losin trust in me liao...he shoot me until siao...i never think tat in his eyes i m such a bad person..haiz..I M BAD....i m not fit to b his lao por...wad do i have...alll i do is to irritate him...tats all....i m wrong...he is always right..i can't sae how i feel...he vent anger on me..how can i say him back...i m 4eva in e wrong i neo..haiz...wads e use to cry over spilled milk....i always ask him to repeat himself....he not song..can tell me de wad...y scold me...y...y!!!he is very fan...can vent anger on me..when i m fan...can i vent on him..NO!!!i will always have to put all those problems in my heart..i dun wanna hide anything..but how can i say out...will he b angryat me or wad...DO I HAVE A CHOICE...haiz....now den i neo tat no one cares for me..nt even dear(e 1 i trusted most)...he broke my heart so deeply..no 1 can ever put those broken heart of me bac..no1...i really learn tat even e 1 u luv most u depend on most will one dae hurt u....y??becos he is fan...wao!!!haiz...i knew tis day will come...i m prepared for it...haiz...i even dream of it..haiz..everything...e same!!!hoe can it b...haiz...

3 daes left.....
!help help help help help help help help help help help!

3daes n counting...

2005-06-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

yeah!!!finally 3 daes b4 dear come bac le..muhaha..just woke up frm my sweet dream..hum..around at 10 plus like tat lor...once i open my eyes quickly switch on e com to c dear got online mar..yeah!!!he gt online..say hi to him but is like no reply one..den nvm lor...came here to blog 1st....hum...my flu better liao..haha..throat also soso...hum..sch is goanna reopen soon...din even touch any homework...siao liao...wonder wad me n my dear will do when he come bac..hum...sianz...watch intial D perhaps...ltaer den blog...dad's at home...

3daes n counting......

= huh..huh...huh...huh...huh...huh...huh...huh...huh=

4 daes n countin....

2005-06-21T23:33:00.000-07:00

yeah!!!itZ 30mins to 3 daes...haha..lookin forward to dear comin bac..haha..came bac frm tution..so so la..very tired..haiz..waited for dear to online..he saed he will b right bac..but so long le..still haven come bac..haiz..i wanna slp lor..but wanna tok to dear also..so bo bian...ta han a while lor...haiz...just now quite bol iao while waited for dear to online...so went to put some nail art thingy on my fingers..not bad la..1st attempt..quite nice..haha..now my flu is getting better le...coz gt eat panadol...hai yo...how i wish dear is here sia...he will definately give me a lot of advice to gt well de lor...den i after a few daes sure ok liao de..haiz..too bad he is nt here..haiz...nvm la....tml den blog...bb

4 daes n counting.....

4 daes n counting..

2005-06-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

just to blog b4 goin to tat stupid tuition...haiz..hum..tok to dear for quite awhile..hahaha..so song....both me n dear+his fren is tryin to con Hui Zhen..funny sia..haha...actually veri moody de..den dear did tis to cheer mi up..haha..i damn happy laio...thankz...muakz..now tat my blog have a new look n can tag le...i really is Extremely hapPy lor..now dear can tag le..haha..i luv u deaR....but any way i hope dear won't con me tis time..lol..wanna online anot...saY la..haha..jkjk..gtg le..bb

4 daes n counting...

4daes n counting...

2005-06-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

n tat dear is out for a while might as well blog now..nth to do la...down wif a heavy flu..haiz..keep sneezin..voice even changed laio..haiz...dear explained to me wad happened to him ytd...i understand him..2Fs la..forgiv n forget..hum...dear is comin bac in 4 daes times..muhaha...can't wait...haiz...

todae have tuition at 5 like tt..english de..haiz..sian..also have to babysit my bro..haiz..sianz...sianz..nth to write le..haiz...

4daes n cointing......

= lao por + lao gong + lao por + lao gong + lao por + lao gong =

4 daes n counting......

2005-06-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

waiting 4 some1 who say tat he will b online at 10plus to appear..haiz..until now 12 plus le..still din c him...wad e heck is he doin..is he mad at me or sth??haiz...suan le..wanna off com le..haiz..disappointed!!!

4daes n countin.......

=+=hates...hates...hates...hates...hates...hates...+=+

5 daes n counting....

2005-06-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

haiz...todae ps my dear n went out wif edison...really hope dear dun guai me..haiz..hum...i went to meet him at 1 lor...den at first thought of goin to movie..but later dun have lor..so i around 4 go le lor...sianz...very unlucky lor....some1 dunno siao or wad suddenly spit on my face lor...wtf...go n die lor...edison saw it n was abt to beat them(2siao ah bei) up...but i was den stoped by me..haiz...he was like cursing n swearing them lor..haiz..den...i think suan le la..dun bother abt them lor..siao one!!!haiz...now den i know edison smoke lor....i hate ppl who smoke ok....i asked him dun smoke le he still blow e smoke infront of me makin my contact very blur..haiz...nvm la...suan le...den after tat went to tua payoh to walk walk lor...den meet cong ming lor..went to sengkeng to eat n buy thing together lor...den went to fetch my bro den go hm lor...sianz

went to dear's blog to c he gt update anot...but he din...haiz...nt even tag...haiz..dunno wad is he doin tis whole afternoon...haiz..oh ya..5 more daes b4 dear's return..muhaha...one hand can count le...i wonder is he excited or not...hu neos mayb he dun really wan to com bac...haiz...i really gt no comments...haiz..just tok to him for A WHILE...den he say he wanna go mum mum le...in cousin's house..10+ den online....hum..den ok lor.....think later den online la...

5daes n counting.......

==oh yeah ! oh yeah ! oh yeah ! oh yeah ! oh yeah ! oh yeah==

6daes n counting

2005-06-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

jusT read dear's blog...haha..at least he gt blog...nt so dead after all..hum...

just finished tuition...very lucky lor..my tuition teacher din scold me for nt completing his assignments...haha...learn a lot of things todae until go bongus...cedric also gave me sweets n a bear frm australia...muhaha..really like to thankz him...i din ask him to buy e bear lor..but he bought..muhaha..damn cute sia..i luv it...thankz cedric!!!!hehex...tok to edison on e phone....he asked me to meet him tml to return his disc...hum...i agreed lor....hahaz...he also took my disc ma..haha....he is doin quite well now la..just found out tat his is actually a japanese..muhaha..anyway my tutor bought me n ting a lot of food...haha...milk tea included..hehex..relly wanna thankz him..but b4 i can do so...he is like already scram until dunno where le....hum...den after tat took bus hm le lor..so sianz...tryin to change my tution for sundae but wei young cannot...haiz..i wanna push forward so tat i can pei dear...but......ai ya...dunno la..

it is kind of weird dear is nt around..hum..he always accompany me hm de lor..got yi dian bu xi guan...hum...nvm la..next week come bac le maR...right!!!cheer up baR..bear wif it i always tell myself....i really hope dear can bring bac sth for me like cedric do....haiz..hope so baR..but dun gt my hope too big cos e bigger i wish for e more disappointment i will gt...hum...

oh ya..tok to dear todae morning...hum...quite fun la..but as usual he sae wanna go tat time..i din even have e time to sae good bye..he already offline le..so rude lor..haiz..nvm la..two Fs..forgiv n forget..haiz...so now waitin for him to come online...sianz.....

6 daes n counting........

coming.....coming......coming......coming......coming......coming......coming...

7daes

2005-06-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

todae went out wiF my family....shoppin n shoppin...dear n his family askin go out baR..hum..wonder wad he is doin nw....hum...kinD of sianz now...tok to dear for a short period of time den offline le..haiz..bought a lot of new clothes ...hahaz...ate my dinner at my grandma's house...muhaha...as usual my favourite dish,prawn, is served..haha..but when thinkin tat tml havE tution at 10 am...haiz..sianz sia..haiz..now is 7 daes b4 dear come bac..haha..soon it will be 4..3..2..1...dae le ...haha...wonder will dear b online anot..haiz..hope so bar..dun b so late better..got to slp early..tuition again..haiz..argh!!!haven done any homework yet..haiz..sianz...argh!!!nth to do...hope dear is doin well now..haiz..how i wish i can tok to him mW...haiz..argh!!1my throat is like damn pain now lor...tis is y dear ask me open audio i dun wan..haiz..hope next saturdae can ok lor..haiz..sianz...

7daes n counting........

++++miss him...miss him...miss him...miss him...miss him...miss him...miss him...miss him++++

8 daes

2005-06-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

haiz..just come here and blog for a while...tired of waitin 4 dear to online..haiz...think he won't be comin online todea le bar...haiz...sianz...i really wanna tok to him..at least a while also v song..haiz..but yet..he is no where to b seen..playin perhaps...haiz...dunno him la...he happy i happy lo...but i dunno if i happy he happy mar?...or i sad he sad mar..doubt so...haiz...he promise me tat when he come bac he will watch initial D wif me..but i think he is too busy to do so or even i wish to watch wif me..haiz...i think our relationship is drifting apart le..haiz..wad m i goanna do....let nature take its course or wad..haiz...argh!!!sianz...i will go bongus one dae sia..haiz....suan le la..forgive n forget...haiz.. ..worth waiting for anyway...haiz...dun wanna blog le..haiz...

8daes n counting.......

==crazy abt him....crazy abt him...crazy abt him...crazy abt him...crazt abt him...crazy abt him==

8daes

2005-06-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

it just left eight deas b4 dear come bac..muhaha...todae woke up at nine thirty..dear din online..kind of sad...he told me b4 ytd tat he is goin to watch batman wif his cousins todae..hum..sad..aniwaes now i like rain until siao...nv go out todae except for tution at 6 in mei ting's house...kind of sianz..now den i neo tat without dear accompanyment i really feel diff v lonely..haiz...argh!!!

my cousin ytd told me tat she wanna accompany me to HK in december.....yeah!!really lookin forward sia..him...now is left wif my parents tat side lor..hum...visited dear's blog...he din update..haiz..no time??hope not....haiz...

tution homework nt finished yet..onli do halp way onli..hum..goanna gt scoldings liao...actually wanna cancel next sundae de tution...wanna pei dear e whole dae...haiz...duno leh..haiz..he gt church on sundae morning..haiz..dunno la..my mind's in a whirl..haiz...

8 daes and counting......

9 daes n counting

2005-06-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

haiz..now dear is nt online...haiz...he is like changed to another person lor..haiz..dunno how to describe la...he is like starting to neglect me lor...haiz...argh!!wad m i goanna do..haiz...he said tat saturdae he will nt b online lor..goin to dunno wad Ocean Park to plaY..haiz..goanna misS him...gueSs a gooD person iS to let e person u luv to b happy baR...duN control each other too much baR..haiz...think he dun really havE timE for me baR..haiz...dunno y when i hear somE luv songs i will think of him n will sometimes even cry..haiz...goanna cry now..haiz...he end of e year is goin to HK for 1 month lor...one month leh!!!nt 1 dae or 1 week ok....haiz..guess i really....haiz..lost of words...he goin in december lor...how i wish i can go wif him...after o levels mar..haiz...i really wanna go...buT my parents will surely nt let me go de lor..haiz..blog later...

9daes n countin.......

9daes...

2005-06-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

hum..1 more dae pass le..left wif 9 daes..muhahaha...ytd dear come online again...haha..thanks..muakz..tok to me 4 a while while his mum is bathing...so gooD sia..but after a while he went off le...wonder how is he doin nw....miSs him...haiz...nt goin out todae...fellin kind of sianz...omg..just knew tat he already online le...i dun neo sia..but tok to him no reply..haiz..later den blog la...

9daes n counting......

10 n countin

2005-06-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

haiz...at last dear came online..haiz...so fast offline..haiz...wanna tell him sth...but...haiz..bwg..haiz..guess his mum is askin him to slp baR..haiz..really wanna tok to him..haiz...guess tml den tok lor...haiz...

gt one guy call steven called me..i dunno him de..wa lao..so fan lor...i really wisH somE1 can hlp me gt rid of him..haiz..hope dear can hlp me..but i din even gt a chance to tok to him..haiz...suan le..tml c how la..haiz...

30mins more to 9daes....

dae 10

2005-06-15T21:53:00.000-07:00

hum..jusT fiinshed helpin deaR to create a new blog..haiz...hope hE will likE it la..kinD of girl i think..black in colour..haiz..while waitin for him to online..nth to do maR..hlp him lor..but e address is nt hiS previous one..muhaha..so if hiS frenz wan to tag..go to e new onE better..e old blog is kind of plain..hope he luv e new one...oh ya wanna tell him tat if my blog can't tag..try taggin his new blog....i will go there dayly de...swear..haiz

tok to him in e mornin..fun....webcam+mic....his mum onli let him use his com for 2hours..all is i hai 1 lor..cos ytd his mum ask him to off com at 12 but he so call argued bac..haiz..hw stupid..but den is all bcos he wanna tok to me longer lor...actually his mum wan to ask him rest his eyes cos itS v red..haiz...argh!!!all i hai one..haiz

went to Kbox wiF congmin todae..now no $ liao..sing for 3hours..until now no voice..haiz....sort of ps dear ..just got tis feelin..haiz..if so i really wan him to forgive me..haiz....now he haven online..i bet after ytd he cannot use at nite 4eva le..haiz..argh!!i reaaly dun wan him to bcos of me gt scoldings frm his mum...haiz..but on e other hand i really wan him to tok to me leh...cos i really miss him..haiz..itS hiS decision baR...haiz...no mood to blog it..haiz..

10 daes n counting...

day 10

2005-06-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

while waitin foR dear to b online..might as well blog first...hum...actually goin to sentosa wif my frenz de..hsin they all..but in e end i din go..but it can b considered lucky la cos it is like raining like mad outside...haiz..dear say he will b comin online at abt 10 am but till now still din c him..haiz..wonder wad happen?!!kinD of worried...ytd he said he wanna slp early..eyes v red..haiz..sorry leh...really sorry leh...but any way i onli slp at 1...sry can't pei u slp..haiz...v guilty...haiz...so sian now...nth to do..mayb do some homework 1st baR..haiz..no mood to tok liao..later den blog baR..haiz..

--_--

2005-06-14T23:36:00.000-07:00

yeah!!finally dear online le..yeah!!can c him on webcam le..muhaha...but too bad tat stupid mic of mine cannot work properly..haiz..but nvm la..i dun really intent to use it either..so cao...nite time liao leh...hum...b considerate yi dian..actually wanna offline de....haha..lucky dun havE...hum...think e onli time i can tok to him is at nite baR....i really hope he can everydae c my blog...neo hw i feel...hum...n of cos tag if he can..hum...half an hour more and it left 10daes le..muhaha....nw havin a really confuse feelin..if he comes ba it means sch is goanna reopen le..argh!!!i din even do my homework...haiz..argh!!but i really wish he can come bac leh..haiz...he come bac on e satudae..haiz..sundae i still have tuition..argh!!!when sch reopens i will have to study like siao de..argh!!!HeLP!!!..hum...dun wanna blog le for todae...wanna tok to dear noW...haha... adios!!

miSs him?!misS him!?miSs him?!misS him!?miSs him?!misS him!?miSs him?!misS him!?miss?!

---

2005-06-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

baC to bloG again while waiTin for deaR to come online...hope he can online la of cos..he is probably enjoyin himself bar...hai...

todae's tuition went quite smoothly la..went hm tat time kind of lonely..without dear's accompanyment...haiz...miSs him...oh ya..saw JUn li i suppose..he saw me but i din saw him..sad...he msg me...oh ya..he neo dear..same sch wad..but he is in 4E2 i guess..he said he did saw me in mac wif dear...hum..i really have no impression lor...goT 5 miss call frm an unknown person..dunno hu..haiz..

camE home wif an errie feelin...haiz..dun really dare to tok to my dad...but at last still tok lor..haiz..have to eat dinner wad..bo bian..haiz..after eatin straight away come to my room see dear gt online anot lo...but all hopes went down e drain...haiz..later den blog ba...haiz

11++

2005-06-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

jusT to bloG again b4 goin to tuition...kinD of sianz...haiz..miSS dear like crazy..haiz...tuition homework finish at last...since dear dun wan me to pon tuition..den i dun pon lor...just go lor..

later my dad will b comin home...or i can say soon...i dunno how to face him sia...will i gt scoldins or wad...haiz..hope he will nt reached home until i go out for tuition....haiz..e sky is like goanna rain any min...haiz..dunno wanna bring umbrella anot..haiz......

to be continue...........

day 2

2005-06-14T13:02:00.000-07:00

now lefT 11daes b4 he comE bac....haiz...hurry hurry...really miSs him...but not so miss him liao after how my fellow frenz consoled me..feel much better..thankz guyz...at least last nite i can slp a bit more well...onli eyes swollen...

quarrel wiF my unreasonable dad ytd..haiz..really no mood...dun wisH to wriTe y...haiz...think he will make me grounded for life...if not for todae i have eng tuition..or else i can go out liao lo...really vey moody n angry now..haiz..no mood to do anything...go out..haiz..dun wanna go tuition but have to choice..haiz..cried like hell last nite..not bcos i miSS him(eventhough it is partially e reason) but bcos of tat "stupid" dad of mine..haiz...jusT told hsin tat i dun feel like goin out tml...gt "scolded" by them...i m really v sorry lor...haiz..after my dad incident..haiz..sorry guyz...haiz...argh!!!m i too much or wad..haiz...sorry...!!

dear can usE com le..yeah!!!he tok to me todae in e morning..on his webcam n audio and tok to me...very happy sia...haha...at least gt a peace of my mind liao...he have a very "coconut" head lor..haha..lol..even hsin say so too..haha...but dunno y he sudden go liao..nv tell me y...mayb his parents callin him baR..eat breakfast perhaps...yam cha lor..so rich sia....haiz...until now he still nv online lor...haiz..nvm la...but i think my dad is goin to ban me frm usin e com...if tats e case i will die de ok...haiz..one dae nv tok to dear i can die de ok..haiz..think dear at nite den can use com le..haiz..i dunno i can use anot...haiz..u guys should y right!!!haiz..

so dear dun worry if i can't come online for e rest of e 11 daes ok..haiz..i gt my reasons la..u r nt goanna misS me right...haiz..u r doin well there right so dun let ur emotions be affected by my emtionz ok...haiz...

.........(sorry dear i dun wanna say de..but jusT wanna make things clear...u can dun read de if u choose not to read la...it will jusT make u angry ok...haiz...it is jusT tat i dun wanna put all those things below in my heart..haiz...ok)............

dun b so moody liao ok..u should neo wad i m tokin ok..dun think too much ok...past means pass le ok...so wad if u take action against tat guy..haiz..i can "forget" abt it y can't u...i m e victim here u neo...u think i v happy meh...haiz...i dun wan any1 to gt hurt u neo..plz..forget abt it...it will make ur life more happy..trust me..haiz..

misS him always
11 daes n counting

elo

2005-06-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

haiz...now still baC to my blog le...so sianz...wonder wad dear is doin nw??!!is he havin his dinner or??haiz...really miSs him like mad dog...now stop crying le...dun wisH to crY..think i m sucH a crY baby..haiz..i dun wan de lor..but wad can i do control my emotions or wad..haiz...hidin all my feelings in my heart is nt gooD de lor..haiz...hope tat hiS mum can givE him bac e online cable asap...haiz..really wish so..even cannot b on mic..also can chat on msn wad..haiz..but at least todae gt tok to him,feeling a bit better now...really hope he can come online asap..haiz..miSS him sia...he is e 1st person who made miSS until like siao...cry until like siao...hope he neo tat..dunno whether he miss me mar..really hope so..haiz...i really luv him...muakz..how i wish i can kiss him noW..n i mean NOW..haiz..he said tat in HK really beri bo liao...since bo liao den come bac la..haiz..but he can't..wad can i do...he said if can come bac he will surely come bac on e comin fridae de..but haiz..since e air ticket cannot change den nvm lor....think i die also he will not come bac lor...

argh!!eyes damn swollen..even my dad also ask me abt it..as usual gt scoldin lor...todae cong min came to my house my dad also scold me..haiz..say wad dun any hw bring guys home..a group can..but not 1 person..haiz...later den blog le..

goanna wait for him to come online..hurry..hurry..

yeah!

2005-06-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

yeah!!!fiNALLY dear called...or i can say he online talk to me through mic..haiz..really miss him sia..heard his voice started to cry..haiz...argh!!!tok to him on e phone..now feel better liao...at least can hear his voice...found out tat he cannot use his com cos his mum "confiscated" e online cable...haiz....he quarreled wif his mum..haiz..v worry abt him...haiz...really miss him...

congmin came to my house to tok wif me...haiz...also cried 4 a little while..haiz..argh!!!really damn confuse sia....now tat i have nt done my tution homework..i really feel like poning tution lor..haiz..no mood to study or eat..haiz..haiz..mornin until now nv eat a single thing...dun feel like eating lor..no mood..haiz...later goanna eat dinner(chicken rice)..haiz..my dad bought for me..haiz..wonder i can finish e food anot..haiz...think i goanna gft another scoldin liao..haiz..argh!!i really confuse now..haiz..

wednesday goin to sentosa wif hsin n frenz...now thinkin also kind of no mood..haiz..life's goanna carry on some how...haiz...if really dun feel like goin dunno hw i should tell them..haiz..

=me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me+him+me=

a new daE

2005-06-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

haiz..can't slp...tis is e 1st time in tis june holidae i woke up so early...miSs him until can't slp..argh!!cried lasT night without my parents knowin...now eyes are kinD of swollen..haiz..i really can't slp lo..argh!!now i havE to hide my feelings of dear frm my parents..haiz...dunno y always think of him..i dun wan to think de..but my mind keep askin me to think...argh!!...think of him i WILL cry lor..haiz..dreamt of him last night..haiz...dun wanna wake up at 1st..he huged me..kiss me...i luv it..but tat is jusT onli lasted a while..haiz..how i wish..how i wish he can b by my side now..n foreva...haiz..now typin my blog also feel like cryin...haiz..tis is jusT e 1st dae he is in HK..haiz..wad m i goanna do..think tml's tution i goin to pon liao..no mood to study..at first thought when he go liao i can concentrate on my studies..but mw i really prove myself wrong...haiz...woke up at 930am todae hopin to c him online but all my hopes went down e drain...is he nt awake yet??haiz..or is he enjoyin his life there n totally 4gt abt me..haiz...hope nt...dun feel like goin out todae..but actually goin to Kbox todae de wif germain n nian shun..haiz..NO MOOD liao la..argh!!haiz...friedae e A maths tution think i goanna pon lo..really really really no mood to study lor...haiz..now listenin to hiS fav. song..haiz..thinkin oF him..really wonder wad he doin nw lor..haiz..todae is e 13th....he will onli b comin bac on e 25th..haiz..so long lor..haizr...really wisH he c my blog lor..n at least call me n tok 4 awhile..haiz..really wanna hear hiS voice NOW!!!haiz..mayb i should relax baR..dunno y..he is e 1st one i MiSS until crazy..argh!!m i overacting or wad..haiz..think really should b doin my homework now bar..haven even started..haiz..no mood leh..mayb i should jusT do n dun care abt anything..haiz..

misS him..miSs him nT..miSS him..miSs him nt..miSs him..miSs him nt..miSs him..miSs him not

haiz

2005-06-12T22:09:00.000-07:00

haiz..nw tat he is "gone" i really gt nth to do le...haiz..say wad online @ nine..now nine thirty le still cannot see him..haiz..

todae when to pasir ris wif cong min..but went to tampanies 1st...actually dun wanna go there de lor...but dunno y stop at e wrong stop..haiz..so bo bian go there eat lo..den went to toy r us to walk lor..kinD of moody la..haiz..after sendin deaR to e airport den no mood le lor..i crieD likE mad..buT nw start thinkin also dunno wads e use lor..haiz..really miSs him like crazy lor..den tat "stupid" mum of mine keep askin me gt cry anot..gt hug anot..wa lao..so kpo..haiz..haiz..anyway both me and cong min went long john to eat lo..saw somE or i can say "suai" ge...tat conG min la..lol..dun say le..den while waiti for e mrT saw another suai ge..muhaha..actually so so lookin onli nia..tat cong min la..keep askin me to look @ tat direction..hai yo..buT my deaR is e mosT suai de lor..muakz..now really wonder wad he doin...really really really miss him..haiz..still gt 12 daes after todae until he return..so long...cried like hell at e airpot..haiz...argh!!hope he is well now.................also went cyclin wiF cong min todae at pasir ris..fun sia..buT while cyclin he fell off e bike..ouch..haiz..pian sia i can tell...but still he accompany to continue cyclin..wao!!sit on my favourite place at e park tok tok 4 a while..den found out a lot of "things" frm cong min...muhahaha...hehex..he dun even dare to go to e white house lor...even it is onli evenin...lol...den after tat went bac to pasir ris to but yupi candy..haha...den after tat went hm le lor...tat cong min nv send me to my hs downstairs lor...so scary let me walk by myself...haiz..suan le..

haiz onE dae pass le...gt a msg frm my tutor sayin tat i havE to finish a lot of homework..haiz...stress sia..argh!!nw @ hm also no mood to do any homework..haiz..really miss him....really goanna cry out sia...but hu can lend his/her shoulders ..haiz..argh!!very luan now..argh!!

jusT receive a msg nw tat deaR cannot come onlinE..argh!!haiz..suan le...his mum dun let him usE e com wad can i do..haiz..stil say wad his mum listen 2 him..haiz..nvm...argh!!think i probably no comin online until thursdae le..nw wanna tok to him also cannot..haiz...argh!!goanna cry nw...argh!!..dun wanna write further le..just make me cry......

hi

2005-06-08T14:15:00.000-07:00

long timE no blog le...kind of bored nw so blog lor...gettinG wiF mR right kinD of gooD noW..nW tat hE havE to go to hiS hometown...i reallI kinD oF of miSs hiM..haiz...two weeks lor...half of my holidaes gonE..can't c him...when he come bac itS already goanna sch reopen le lor..haiz..i realli miSs him...

ytd night had i little tift wiF him..haiz...drop tears...haiz..sad sia...hw can he say such a thing..haiz...say someonE luv him more than i do...this is kinD of sad lor...i mean if he "dare" to tell me thiS...haiz...dun wisH to speak further le..hope he neos hw i feel..haiz...m i jealous or wad...haiz..i really duN neo...i haD nv been so "jealous" b4..haiz..i am so afraid tat when he is "gonE" he won't b bac again...haiz...argh!!damn frustratin sia..haiz...i m so sacred tat he will ps me...finD another gal perhaps in HK..haiz..m i thinkin tooo much or wad...i really dun neo..argh!!haiz.. sianz...nw started thinkin i also wanna cry le..haiz..

nw havE to really mug n mug le....no time to lose le..mayb i shouldn't think abt him too much afterall...hE is nw havin tution...he study so harD..mayb i should too..haiz..

long Long Ago

2005-04-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

...beri sianz nowadeas...bz also..wiF sch work perhaps...musT really work harD le..chinesE o is comin..i dun really wan to takE my chinese o on november..haiz...noW tat band had ended le..i can really relax in e weekends liao..so gooD...haha...but in e weekends feel like goin out wiF frenz rather than muggin....now is a few weeks left to chinese o le...really berI scared lor...sianz...now is like almost everydae havE test lor....especially...nw is like ting xie ting xie and more ting xie..haiz..quiz here quiz there..

really no timE to writE in tis blog le...hum...will it be extinct?!!haha..hum...nth to do haiz...

---End---

elo!

2005-04-01T23:50:00.000-08:00

todae went to montfort sec for their investiture...kind of borin though but also have some "interestin" performances to "entertain me....the ppl there are generally kind la..except for...erhem...he was like dunno wad e heck is wrong wif him lor..hah..but anyway...dun really wan ppl to say i m a petty person la..jusT "forgive" him la....haha...went around the sch wiF a verY talkativE HOD to entertain me..haha..lolx..heard their band play..super pro sia...gt to know some of them...kinD of gOoD la..gt to interact wif them...haha..e guys there are generally "verY" open sia...itS like they can take off their clothes as n when lor..haha..i was like...omg..haha...saw my kindergarden fren...suai sia....he is in Wushu...so "man" sia..but din get a chance to tok to him la..i bet he din even rmb me lo..haha..oh ya...tat dae is a rainy dae lor..so suei...there are two ppl to usher me n Delia to e hall lor..n u neo wad..their first question is ask me wanna go toilet anot lor..haha..i was like...laughin in e dark lor..haha..any way..their investiture is generally an enjoyable experience for me la..

Cedric,a veRy gooD fren of minE was like keep entertain me lo...a gooD sign la..haha..he HOD ok..buT sometimEs kinna bully by ppl la..sad sia..think e worst thing is being bullied by hiS VP lor..wa!!and their punishment is pumpin lor..haha..lol..after all e entertain...cedric also sent us to e bus stop...so kind of him hor..haha..no comments...

haiz

2005-02-13T17:28:00.000-08:00

todae is a extremely borin dae...haiz..gt a lot of guest come my house..sian ar..very long nv c KH le..todae called him..he is like sian sian...haiz..he have to pei his mum go out cos his mum is goin bac to hong kong le..haiz..mayb tis issn't e right time to ask him out ba..tml is valentine dae...but gt band lor..dun think have time to pei him lor...haiz...really miss him sia...but i think tis is fate ba...mayb we dun meant to b together ba..haiz..his fren is like so call dun really lik my "looks" la..but...haiz...but Dickson is a gooD onE la..frenz la..so so lor..haiz..is like he quite gd lookin..but me..haiz..dun really pei him lor...more over amanda tat thingy....haiz..dun really wanna sae anything abt it le...itS likE....sort of dun pei lor...haiz...i very scared tat we will break lo...or m i thinkin too much??haiz..jusT gt a msg from him tat todae he nt free..cannot go out le..haiz...i really havE "tat" kind of feeling lor..haiz...
he once sae on valentine dae he wanna give me chocolate lor...but..haiz..dun neo la..really confuse lor..haiz..i wanna go out now..but afraid tat i haven iron my clothes and haven touch on my homework..haiz..tml is mondae le....tuesdae gt A maths test..haven read lor..haiz..die lo...haiz...argh!!o levels comin le..how!!!haiz...think i goanna stop here le...dun really have e mood to continue to type le...haiz..

bored...boring..bored..boring..bored..boring..bored..boring..bored..boring..bored..boring..bored..boring..boring

bac!!

2005-02-11T11:10:00.000-08:00

yoZ..itS haz been a loNg timE since i blog le..no time la..gt to study for e up coming o levels..stress...lots of thinGs happen recently..gooD anD bad..haiz..dunno must b happy or sad..

bAd??!!haiz...really dun wanna tok abt it..but i really dunno!!!i really very confused lor..in council anD sch...kodi keep like pickin on my attire lor..wtf...i really changed le la...tat timE i really din take off my tie outside sch lor..but she sae she say she saw me takin off my tie wif HER OWN EYES...omg..haiz..den say wad wanna sack me...haiz..jusT by tis reason??i think itS quite ridiculous lor..but wad can i do..hu can i tell...she is afterall a teacher wad..havE to giV her somE facE la...
Another thing is abt tat amanda thingy lor...haiz...i really nv thought she betray me lor..jusT bcos of 1 thing-guyz-..how can she..i trusted her lor..y musT she sae tat me n helina ia a big flirt..y..y...y..y..y....if wan come face to face sae la..wtf...den e pass few daes she nv com to sch..haha...think she is scared or wad la..lol..scary cat..lol..y did she wanna break a couple...bcos of her selfish act??cause a lot of ppl to hate her...y...but itS lucky tat i saw her true colours...
recently stead wiF a st.gab guy...KH..he quite gd la...a prefect..know him durin our investiture..quite gd la..nv ps me lor..gt cal me to chat on phone..tiS yr turin 17..but sec 3 onli..cos he is a hong kongniese..gt a cousin call cong ming..in my sch de..haha..we went out quite often la..stead 4 i think 1 week or so ba...finF him quite a nicE person to gt along..but i dun neo steadin wiF him is e right choice or nt lor...wiF Amanda in e middle..haiz..i really v troubled lor...haiz..itZ like sometimEs i also dun really can manage my timE well ..dunno should i go out wif my frenz or KH..haiz..oh ya...KH also havE a bunch of "nice" frenz...also kind of easy to gt along la..he is 170cm..luv to play bball...sporty type...i like..lol..haha..he like to take pic lor..wahaha..but i dun really like la...so he is like really bo bian lor..haha... next timE la..dear..lol..depends on my mood la...

recently also gt my hair cut..wa lao..damn ugly lor..haiz...i almost cried tat night lor...but my parents sort of console me lor..say wad after o levels den go rebond hair again...haiz..looks...dun really mind a lot to me la..haiz..but still like my last timE tat hairstyle la..haiz...

AnywaY i gt banD and stuff to do tml..goanna turn in early tonight..now is 1111pm le lor..dear already slp le lor...think i also havE to slp le la....

~~gaonna miSs hiM likE maD coW~~goanna mIss hIm likE mad cOw~~goanna mIss him likE mad coW ~~

yeah!

2004-12-14T14:00:00.000-08:00

nowadeas really seldom blog le...have to work+study+go out wif frenz...always like tat de..holidae like no holiday de..haiz...work @ thai express..met alot of "nice" frenz there..all quite easy goin la..quite bz i can say..hum.

haiz..talkin abt relationships...i m really m very troubled....its like when i need him...he is nt there for me..haiz..i also dun neo y should i take tis path in e 1st place..now tat i m lost..is there really any1 hu can gt me out of it?or should i?..haiz..always confused and havE doubts..mayb i m jusT thinkin too much le bar..different ppl have different piority...tats wad hsin said...mayb she is really right ba..havE nt talked to "him" for quite a while le..really miss "him"..dunno had he forgotten me anot..he is bz wif his stuff..i m busy wif my stuff..our relationship is really driftin apart lor..i wanna tok to "him"..but itS jusT tat i dun havE e courage talk to "him"..i really scared tat i will screw things up...which i dun wan...haiz.. i m always moody..thinkin abt "him".but for wad use??haiz..i want to share my joy wif "him"..but where is he?

yesterdae went out wif hsiN+her cousin+her bro...kind of weird at first but after a while i find it quite relax to tok to her cousin...we went shoppin...his bro is like talkin non stop lor..so noisy..opps..but then without him e conversation is also quite borin la..we went to orchard and ps...and my lunch in orchard...oh ya...i only brought i think $20 wif me lor...den after tat have to pay hui mei e money..$15...wao..really no money le..aroung 6 plus i den go meet bel bel they all den go c e concert lor..tat concert is quite interestin la..there is tis Australian band and also a combine sch band..and there it is my favourite sch band..bukit view..haha..saw some of them there..haha..oh ya..sir and mr soh is there too..haha...after e concert..me+bel+jess+yingen+hui mei+sir+mr soh went to jalan basar to have out dinner..haha...wa lao..kinna shoot by sir a lot of time lor...lol...haha..sir drove us there wif his newly bought car...2 daes onli...haha..so shiok..haha..after tat sir also drove me home..so gooD lor..haha..by then it is abt 12 plus le..so tired lor..

hum..for tml band practice i only goin for half day..cos @ around fivE plus like tat i goin to gentin le...can't wait sia..very excited..it is a four day trip..i goanna miss alot of ppl..especially "him" but will he miss me??question mark...haiz..goin gentin i think he also dunno ar..should i tell him..or should i nt..haiz..later goin out to buy some stuff...haiz...